so its been 7 days since it all.
im kinda more stable now.i cried and cried and cried for 4 days continous.i wake up,and i cry.i hear our song,and i cry.i see her,i WANT to cry.in the night,on my bed,i cry myself to sleep.
well,nw its improved.i dunt cry nemore.its just that...we are still "friends".so she calls me...and my pulse rate increases.i hate it.i hate feeling like that.i hate being on this burnout all the freaking time.our friends know about us,and they advise me that it will be better if i get over her asap.i look pale,worn out and tired.my eyes have lost their shine and i carry a broken smile.
she says she's suffering too.she says she misses me too.but its her fuked up BOYFRND who comes in the picture! she told me that if it werent for him,she would be with me.
i dont wana know this.it just makes me even more miserable than i already am.
and last night,online,she tells me "i know i shouldnt be saying this,but i miss us"
and obviously,i almost died.i just typed back "yeh,uhm,ok"
at this point,we both know that we both want each other back.
but we are just so helpless.so hopeless.
im TRYING to get over her.i really am.its just that,everytime i try,i just dont wana let go.i dun wana let go of those memories,those emotions,those feelings.i wana let them linger on my mind and heart...
but why wud i want to do so?when all it does is hurt me even more?!
so i know its not easy for both of us,(i bet shez moving on already) BUT why does it have to hurt so much?why is it so damn confusing?where do we stand?what is she to me?what am i to her?are we friends?are we plain ex's?are we ex's wanabe best friends?
i DONT wana get ovr her.but i HAVE to.