Urgent help

LCT's picture

i need some help coming out to my famialy
i an a transgender m2f. i have felt like tis since the age of 8 and i an nervious about coming out seen as my parents are both christians and very serious aout it. Does any one have any tips to coming out descreatley?



Inkblot's picture


First off, hello there. Second, think about what the worst that could happen is, then prepare for it. Other than that, you'll just have to tell them. Best of luck.

Do I shock you darling?
-Sally Bowles, Cabaret

jeff's picture


Not sure why your coming out is "urgent," if you felt like this since 8.

I think you should just gradually be out, start planting the seeds in their head, so at some point, it will be like, "Yeah, I guess we sort of knew," etc.

How old are you now? How do you express your gender now? Do they think you're an effeminate boy, or do you butch it up all the time?

The most important thing to do, if you haven't already is to create a supportive community around you, whether gays, friendly str8s, or other people on the T. Oasis people will do in a pinch, too, of course. But you need to surround yourself with love, friendship, community, and support, so that if your parents are no longer willing to provide that, you have other resources available, people to help you, etc.

And, I realize I'm not *supposed* to think this, but whenever people say their parents are religious as a way to say they wouldn't understand, my reaction is always that it sounds like they're willing to believe *anything* already, so you have your work cut out for you. :-)


"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

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Azul's picture

Best Advice I have...

What kind of Christians? We talking about the Catholics, the Methodists, Baptists, Anglicans, Lutherans, etc? And if so - by serious, does that mean fundamentalist? Like serious hardcore Leviticus 18 - all homosexual men will burn in hell?

What I would do - if you're a politically open family - talk about things having to do with homosexuality and gender identity. Go ask 'em 'bout Barack and his Civil Union stance, y'know? Introduce the idea of homosexuality through politics and news and act objective. If they ask - lie to them and say the idea of homosexuality was posed in school.

I can't really tell you what to do - because in the end it's your decision and I don't have the full context.

Remember - Christianity does not dictate purity of souls, it dictates the love, tolerance and acceptance of everything and anyone. That is regardless of any characteristic. This principle goes along MLK's quote - "Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars... Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

Fiona Rosge's picture

hope this helps

(how all of my sentences start out, im an author what do you want from me?) have you ever read Luna by Julie Ann Petters?It is about what you are dealing with and may be able to help you. I mean hell even after i read that book i still dont have any advise to give you except that that book might help. When i came out to my parents (nervous as hell i might add) i just simply cornered one parent at a time and plan out said i like girls end of story.
Come Josephine in my flying machine
Going up she goes up she goes
Balance yourself like a bird on a beam
In the air she goes there she goes
Up, up, a little bit higher
Oh, my, the moon is on fire

LCT's picture


i have taken in al the info that you guys have said and i am going to come out this weeknd i hope my parents will be happy with me.