Where does the good go?

the ghost's picture

I'm offically the strangest person alive.....Well maybe not but I'm strange.So basically I fancy my friends sister.Who is infact straight..obviously...because life is kind like that.Well anyway,I know this will make me sound like such a dork but I find myself unable to speak/make conversation of any sort when I'm around her.Even little things like yes/no type answers are a struggle.I don't see her that often so it's not ever really a huge issue but tonight my friend,her sister and myself went to the cinema.I was so freaking awkward.I'm sure the girl probably thinks there is either something wrong with me or that I am seriously boring because I don't speak...well I probably am seriously boring as well as a big strange dork because I honestly couldn't think of a single thing to talk about.But yeah,the whole situation was awkward as hell...for me anyways.The other two seemed at ease.I think I'll just try and avoid situations where I hang out with her if I can make myself resist seeing her :(

In other news I'm horribly stressed out because I keep letting everyone else run my life.I know I do this and yet I still do nothing to stop it.It's mainly my mother that takes over and I seem to just let her.Now and again reality slaps me across the face and I realise what I let her do and I think I need to get away from this situation.But then I get buried in it again and I forget until I get the next reality check.Right now I just need to get my shit together and sort out a lot of situations.Nothing is life threateningly terrible it's just I a lot of things are a bit of a jumble right now and I need to fix them.I need to start tonight.I need to go tell my mam about something I'm going to be doing,that I know she is going to be mad about even though it doesn't effect her really.I know I shouldn't care but I can't seem to make the break to not care.Wish me luck.Laterz.