ive met the most amazing guy. first off, he identifys as bisexual. so that means he isn't a dead end. he's funny, we get along well, he's cute, taller than me (which is hard to find - im 6 foot 3), he's 19.... and we just click. AND right off the bat, there was some flirtation. in my mind, i've been like, "it would be great if we got together, but i'm happy if things stay plutonic." which i actually am, i just want him in my life in any way. so anyhoo this boy and myself talked for 3 hours last night on msn. we talked about alot of things and i found out so much about him.
he hates being gay. or bisexual, whatever. he's very confused, which is normal - he's allowed to be. but he is so afraid of "Gay", and he told me that he'd buried all of this until he met me. you see, he'd been sexually exploited at around 10 by an older boy, and he associates being gay with these feelings. i feel so sad about this, because he;s very confused and in a lot of pain. so he'd put all of this behind him, and refused to do anything. until he met me, and we bonded. so i feel bad because i'm the reason he is dealing with many things he'd rather not, but like i told him last in night, he needs to before he can move on, and start being comfortable and enjoying his sexuality.
i really like him, and i told him last night that i'll be there for him, he has me on his side now. we may be going out later this week together. it isnt clear whether it's a date or not, but we're going to a play together alone that originally we were going to go to with the rests of our friends. we'll see how things turn out.