a non-ending to a non-beginning

clarice123's picture

again i'm perplexed. i wonder how it can be that one person can but so much time and effort and love towards another and get nothing in return. it makes no sense. i've wasted so much time thinking of summer and how i want it to be, when she hasn't thought for a second on me.

in the end, it turns out that summer is scared. summer is scared of me. she's scared to love me. she's confused, because she doesn't know who, let alone what, she wants. i want to tell her it's okay, that i don't mind the wait, but i know that this one may not be worth it. figuring out who you are is no easy process.

despite all this... compassion? i feel towards her, i'm also angry. i'm angry that she was just teasing me. i'm angry that i was just a game. that hurts. she lulled me into a place where i thought i belonged.

maybe one day, in the future, we can be together. because right now, she's not ready, and i don't know if i am either.