Good Lord I'm Sheltered

Disney's picture

So I just got back from this sketchy youth centre 'club' place in my city that I've heard of before, and been to and found decent in terms of interior and acoustics and staff... when there were under 20 people there including me. However, this time when I went, I realized once again what a sheltered life I have.

I'm glad to have money, but know that there are plenty of people who've got more than my family. I'm sympathetic to the impoverished and friendly to the less outgoing or less lucky people I meet, regardless of that lack of personality or appearance/clothing/whatever. I'm never too happy around someone who wasn't brought up DECENTLY though, and by decent I mean they know wtf please and thank-you mean. By 'decent', I mean they have a brain - they don't have to tax it, oh no, I'll leave my peers with simplicity and be ok, but no barging in or grappling people you don't know. And pet peeve - burping out loud in public. So many people at my school do it, and I find it d-i-s-g-u-s-t-i-n-g. I can understand if you're joking around or if you do it accidentally, but some people do it sporadically and don't utter an excuse me or anything similar. Well, alright, not everyone was brought up the same way, and things are just natural.

Whatever. So when I arrive at my youth centre land of discovery, I'm with people I know and engaging in what we were there for and everything's fine. Then, the *regulars* start filing in. Piercings, dyed black hair, greasy body, no bra on the girls... I can live with. Mixing all of those up and adding some REALLY bad attributes in terms of attitude though = not my type of person.

I don't even know! These Avril Lavigne-wannabe dirt poor, high-pitched voice Valley girl dumbass, WEIRD, unattractive girls appear and somehow one of them had left her coat behind myself and another person I knew. Well, what do you think this tart does? No, she doesn't whip out the F-bomb and startle my conservative ways - she charges through our grouping (basically 10 people being facilitated about some leadership items and staff people for the club/youth place writing the ideas down) and I guess my neurons were firing, because I saw her screwy posture and coat-searching eyes and asked if the one behind us was hers. "No, that's, like, umm... like, uh, , ya I think it's mine" titter, titter, she reaches and tries to get it, somehow she can't estimate distance though, and she literally almost tips over, she was at least 3 feet away from the mother fucking coat. Oh, and I may be in a swear-worthy mood now since every 16-19 year old in that place aside from the ones I already knew pretty much ran off whatever words they wanted.

Again, I don't even know. I'm pretty much not even up to describing it, but suffice to say I wound up interacting with people who I knew were poor, but who I didn't realize were drug addicts, violent, 50% stupider than I had believed possible, and genuinely WEIRD. And yet there were 50+ of them in this place and I could tell a few were gay or lesbian, and I was wondering why they weren't at HOME studying trying to develop a life through GPA power, or off working to buy some decent clothes... or off working on their hygiene.

I don't want to offend anyone on this site, and I really, really understand that some people's lives are difficult, and parents don't raise their children as well as society might hope - but WTF WTF WTF?! And being clean, at least decent-looking, posture-perfecting, adjective-producing, sociable ME, I get at least a dozen random people coming up to me - two girls even asked me to dance, and there's a DJ person in this place, the lights aren't blacked out or anything, it's not a REAL club, but the wackjob children are happy to hug each other and shake around and ugh I don't even know.

I interact mostly with people who can relate to me - who wouldn't? I interact with a lot of people who can't relate to me very well too - it happens. But I'm really wondering what I'll be doing in university since there'll be a bigger concentration of kids than I've ever been around regularly. If you're not getting my vibe, or somehow fall into more than a few of the categories I outlined above - let me ask you why I should be getting offered drugs in a city-staffed youth centre on a Tuesday night before 8:30pm when I'm there by request to contribute ideas about another city idea for youth?! Why is a braless girl with the fugliest hair I've ever seen (ugly, scraggly, greasy brown hair dyed cheap black only partway through is... fugly) shoved into me and then off squeezing a likely lesbian girl with short, stupidly-spiked (you must've seen someone who spiked their hair really badly before) dyed black hair, ugly ugly ugly cheap piercings (the piercings definitely cost more than the plastic stud things) and a tight, stained white shirt and completely worn out shoes and black jeans?

I think my imagery is lacking since I'm still WTFing over it all, but just imagine all the teens you wouldn't be hanging out with, who would definitely tolerate you and probably WANT to associate with you, and then ugly/cheapen/drug them up some more, lace them with failure and polarize them so they're extra attracted to you. Then multiply them by 40+ and imagine being in a sketchy youth centre/'club' run by your city.

Please do not let me be stuck on a floor with people like this. Please do not let me walk into gay clubs and encounter people who are gay, but so so so different from me that it's not SAD, it's just stupidity, and something THEY can change but choose not to.

And I'm all for personal style and being free, and even being a teen, but I basically saw something I wouldn't expect in my city for the most part, and in such a concentration, and trying to get close to ME so often.

Ugh and I'm already getting the creeping feeling of feeling like an ass for being a classist or something similar. Hooray for kids that you can not only tell will be failures, but are going to have kids because they can't help but have sex, and will make those kids be even more messed up, and the thing is - some of these kids were outgoing enough TO talk to me and other people, and some did have decent clothes but they still just flowed into this moronic little world of after school something.



whateversexual_llama's picture

hm, I'm with you on this.

hm, I'm with you on this. I've stuck my head into the party scene one too many times. I'm happy with my scruffy jeans, sharp pencils, and non-straightened hair. Yey for sanity that will get us ahead out in the real world!

Be yourself. 'Cause if you're busy being somebody else, who's gonna be you?

gaynow's picture


Didn't read the last few paragraphs 'cause I've gotta dash and do homework, but I sympathize. Why are there stupid people, damnit? Why can't they all just be smart? -.-

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader