i've talked to him.
he's scared of his sexuality. whenever he does something sexual in relation to other men, he feels depressed and sick. he was raped by a 13 yr old when he was 10. he's relating it back to that. he loves me, loved me enough to break that sexual barrier, but he cant go on, cant keep on giving himself to me.
he had to give it a go, see if he was strong enough to handle a gay relationship. and he wasnt. part of me is angry that he did it, but i can understand that it was something he had to do. in different circumstances, i would havent fallen totally in love with him. and i am glad he ended it before my feelings intensified. i respect him for having the guts to at least try and get over his pain. he failed, and im hurt and in alot of pain. but at least he tried.