i need to come out

RaspberriesAreFun's picture

I want to come out so badly. Sometimes I feel as if I never will. I'm such a wimp. Everytime I think about it I want to cry. I want to tell my roommate the most. She and I have lived together for about eight months. She's straight and I think she's a lesbianphobe. She says she's not homophobic but I think she is. She's always concerned people are going to think she's a lesbian if she gets in certain situations that might make someone wonder. I don't understand that way of thinking. If you're straight then why do you care if someone thinks ur a lesbian? I just want to be honest with my friends. I know some people know because I have told a couple of my friends. It's rediculous how long this has taken. Why is it so hard? Why can't I just find the right words that I need? Is it this hard for everyone or is it just me? I wish I were more lesbianic so it would be more obvious to people. Im very homemaker-ish when it comes to some things. I like to cook, knit, crochet and I just like girly things. I guess that is prolly normal for many a lesbian. I wish I could find the l word at blockbuster. For some reason they didn't have it when I went in there today. Oh well. I just need something to cheer me up.

Comments

ash's picture

I like cooking too:). Hope

I like cooking too:). Hope you feel better and come out when you're ready.

the ghost's picture

Hi there.It sounds like you

Hi there.It sounds like you are and I are in a similar situation.I have come-out to a few people,but for the most part I'm still in the closet.I hate it.I want to come-out but at the same time it terrifies me.I think I've recently realised the reason I fear it so much is because once I come-out to the world it is like the final acceptance for myself that I am infact a lesbian.For me thats what makes saying it so difficult.
Have you pin-pointed exactly why you are afraid?Perhaps if you actually think about it and narrow down the reasons those words fill you with fear then maybe you can start working on them,so as you can come-out.Thats what I have been trying to do,and I think it has helped me.Also maybe you can talk to some people you have told already,about how you are feeling?Talking to friends also helps so,so much I have found.
Also about your room-mate,maybe she is insecure about her own sexuality?As you have said,straight people don't tend to care if they are mistaken for being gay/lesbian.
Anyways sorry I blabbed on for so long in this comment.I hope you feel better soon and things work out.
P.S why not watch some l word clips on youtube since you can't get the whole thing from blockbuster?Might cheer you up a little=]

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

Grace Hughen's picture

It bothers me when people

It bothers me when people assume I'm straight; for this reason I can understand why it might bother a straight person to be thought of as gay.
As for coming out, go at your own pace. I was the kind of person who tore the Band-Aid off fast to get it over with, but apparently burn patients have said that when doctors take off their bandages fast it hurts worse than doing it slowly, so pick whichever metaphor suits your fancy. In the end the result is the same: the bandages will eventually be off.