I want to come out so badly. Sometimes I feel as if I never will. I'm such a wimp. Everytime I think about it I want to cry. I want to tell my roommate the most. She and I have lived together for about eight months. She's straight and I think she's a lesbianphobe. She says she's not homophobic but I think she is. She's always concerned people are going to think she's a lesbian if she gets in certain situations that might make someone wonder. I don't understand that way of thinking. If you're straight then why do you care if someone thinks ur a lesbian? I just want to be honest with my friends. I know some people know because I have told a couple of my friends. It's rediculous how long this has taken. Why is it so hard? Why can't I just find the right words that I need? Is it this hard for everyone or is it just me? I wish I were more lesbianic so it would be more obvious to people. Im very homemaker-ish when it comes to some things. I like to cook, knit, crochet and I just like girly things. I guess that is prolly normal for many a lesbian. I wish I could find the l word at blockbuster. For some reason they didn't have it when I went in there today. Oh well. I just need something to cheer me up.