I think I worry about things way more than I should. Or I just feel like I am completely crazy for not being able to just sit back and just go with how things are, without thinking about how things were.
I stopped dating my ex-girlfriend at the end of November. Basically she just said she couldn't fake feelings, no matter if she wanted to. And a whole lot of different things happened and we stopped talking for all of December and most of January. And a lot of that was my fault, and she wanted nothing to do with me.
She liked another girl during that time, but that girl had been (and is still, I think) hung up on her ex-gf. I think they went out a few times, as far as I know, but nothing serious came out of it. They're still friends now, and they still hang out.
My ex and I started to talk again at the end of January, because she had told my best friend that she missed me. And of course, I still liked her. So we started to hang out again, despite the fights about everything that had happened in months prior, and we started to talk a lot. She would flirt with me and then early February we held hands.
Since then, we've pretty much been together. We're taking time, just because neither of us could probably rush back into things, but we still consider the other as our girlfriend. But I'm just worried. I'm worried that she is just here because it's familiar and because things didn't work out elsewhere. She told me that I'm the person she feels most comfortable with and I understand that. But I absolutely hate being more into things than the other person. I'm just trying to look out for myself. And I don't want to be the back up plan. I don't want to have the same break up that we had in November, where she told me that she loved me, but then finally had the balls to tell me that she didn't.
I don't want to be that fool. Again.