is there such a thing as thinking too much?

s0careless's picture

I think I worry about things way more than I should. Or I just feel like I am completely crazy for not being able to just sit back and just go with how things are, without thinking about how things were.

I stopped dating my ex-girlfriend at the end of November. Basically she just said she couldn't fake feelings, no matter if she wanted to. And a whole lot of different things happened and we stopped talking for all of December and most of January. And a lot of that was my fault, and she wanted nothing to do with me.

She liked another girl during that time, but that girl had been (and is still, I think) hung up on her ex-gf. I think they went out a few times, as far as I know, but nothing serious came out of it. They're still friends now, and they still hang out.

My ex and I started to talk again at the end of January, because she had told my best friend that she missed me. And of course, I still liked her. So we started to hang out again, despite the fights about everything that had happened in months prior, and we started to talk a lot. She would flirt with me and then early February we held hands.

Since then, we've pretty much been together. We're taking time, just because neither of us could probably rush back into things, but we still consider the other as our girlfriend. But I'm just worried. I'm worried that she is just here because it's familiar and because things didn't work out elsewhere. She told me that I'm the person she feels most comfortable with and I understand that. But I absolutely hate being more into things than the other person. I'm just trying to look out for myself. And I don't want to be the back up plan. I don't want to have the same break up that we had in November, where she told me that she loved me, but then finally had the balls to tell me that she didn't.

I don't want to be that fool. Again.


the mouse that roared's picture

To your first question: yes,

there definitely is such a thing as too much thinking. I, for example, definitely worry too much. About legitimate things, but I really probably don't need to panic as much as I do. So, I tell you (and maybe it'll rub off on me): don't panic! Life will have its ups and downs, but overall any given situation is survivable and will make you a stronger person.

To your second question--reuniting with exes often is a bad idea. Unless both of you have changed a lot, often the same situation can play out again. There were reasons why the relationship didn't work out the first time: have these reasons been resolved? In your case, you sound pretty doubtful that she's into you now. You could be just uncertain of yourself, but she has hurt you before. Have you voiced your concerns with her? Whether or not you have a crush on her, it won't work out in the long run--and you could get very hurt--if she doesn't return the feelings.

At the same time, maybe she's into you, but she wasn't ready for the l word back in November. You both need to talk and work out these issues.

Don't settle. Stay strong.

No one has a right to sit down and feel hopeless; there is too much work to do.--Dorothy Day

the_loser's picture

follow your instinct O_O

follow your instinct O_O