Its Hard to Say "I Do" When i DOn't

flatbreadass's picture

For all intensive purposes this, whatever it may be, is riding on merely the fumes of an extinguished anger. It doesn’t really show the WHOLE TRUTH, but most of it…

I don’t understand why you do it.
Why do you continue to fight against something that
Has no qualms about taking your broken body only to squeeze
What little life you have left in your veins.
You’ve seen your life in flames and the fire of doubt
Has consumed every useless thought
That ever entered your frail and insufferable mind.
Why don’t you just put an end to your misery?
Slide right underneath another and let all your nightmares fall
And wish for your dreams to come true.
Go ahead, he can save you from yourself;
Your knight in fallible armor.
I can’t stand it when you are near me.
You are so pretentious and you LIE
With such grace that I forget that your lips have
The power to betray the simple truth.
You are a simple incongruity in my life.
I hate the fact that you think everyone secretly wants you
Yet you do not have the strength to handle the words
That speak the truth into your appalling existence.
Hate, I used to love,
but I find your presence almost unbearable.
I am a rather patient person but you drive
All the virtue from my heart and replace it with wonder.
Wonder, why are you so NAÏVE?
You think you are so strong but I think you are weak.
I am sorry that this difference of opinion
Has led me to want to break whatever this is
You want to be for me.
If this relationship were worth saving,
I would try.
You are not different, you are like everyone else,
Even if you are a better copy, a more beautiful deception.
You lack the understanding friendship requires.
You nod your head with approval and depth
But you comprehend NOTHING.
Everyone would rather I like you.
I’m sure they would like for me to make amends.
I cannot ask you to change for my sake.
I’m not so narcissistic as to believe
That I’m the correct model for what humans should
Be, but you’re just not.
Even though you have admirable qualities,
These are masked by the fact you do not see them.
Look in the mirror for as long as you desire, your reflection is
NEVER going to portray the fallacy that is your
Character.

Your life is built upon insecurity.
And I just don’t like it.