nastiness on oasis

scandalboy's picture

it seems to me that a few people on oasis are getting very nasty in relation to others. i've been here nearly 2 years (including a long hiatus), and before my recent rejoining of this community, people seemed very friendly. but now, alot of attitude seems to be floating around, and it seems to do with our opinions on certain subjects.

everyone has the right to their opinion and the right to debate it as fiercely as they please, but god, some of what i've read here is so militant and the message that gets across is "I'M RIGHT, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!" i have no problem with debate, as long as opinions are justified, etc WHICH THEY ARE, but i feel like we should be more tolerant of other people's views. Being the social minority that we collectively are, we should knew a thinng or two about tolerance and when it's lacking...

maybe the people have changed since i was last here, and are bringing their own, *ahem* flavour to oasis, but jeez, some manners would be nice.

so this isn't an attack, nor am i trying to get people to be any less passionate about their values, beliefs, ethics, etc it's more of an observation. i just think that a bit more tolerance, manners and nicer attitudes wouldnt go astray.

Comments

milee13's picture

Nastiness? I hadn't

Nastiness? I hadn't noticed....

Yeah, there have been some interesting comments and debates recently, and while I respect that everyone has a right to state their piece, I can't help but find some of the things said to be not only incredibly rude but rather disheartening and uncalled for. It's certainly made me more cautious about who and what I respond to.

A little bit of kindness can go a long way in a place like this, especially because we don't know where everyone is coming from and what they're having to deal with out in the real world.

I'm such a sap....

Lol-taire's picture

I don't think, outside the

I don't think, outside the threads where arguments are occuring, people are taking their opinions out on each other.
In support threads everyone still rallies around with support, in threads where something controversial is being discussed controvery inevitably arises.

If an opinion doesn't hold water it should be exposed. I've had my own stridency challenged because of direct confrontation.
I didn't venture my veiws in your foreskin thread, but some of the things people were saying in there but some arguements were better informed and more logical than others. There were no personal attacks.

It's not always true that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. And just because a response to someone isn't "aww hugs, homophobes are icky" doesn't mean you don't care.

And for heavens sake if someone starts an arguement about Israel, how is that not going to get heated?

scandalboy's picture

i didnt start the argument

i didnt start the argument about Israel, i started it because i found out my bf had a foreskin, and i was taken aback... whatev. it just gives me a headache... i dunno, i just find it personally confronting, even when they arent directed at me, how some ppl write on here.

Lol-taire's picture

I didn't mean you personally

I didn't mean you personally started that thread, what I should have writen is "if one starts a thread about Israel". But that would make me sound like a twat.

Not wanting to be confrontational... but maybe then the problem isn't with the way Oasis members debate here, but the way you personally respond to arguements.

A lot of slightly literate teenagers will always have strident political/ ethical beliefs even if they don't deserve them. Because it what we do. It's why gawky youths at Oxford in the '60s joined the communist party. It's why I've got- cliche of cliches- a shelf in my bedroom with my old Noam Chomsky books from when I was 15 sharing space with Bertrand Russell and, new addition, Judith Butler's book 'Gender Trouble'. It's why my theology student Catholic friend gave me a book subtitled "thirty eight ways to win when you're defeated", because ages 16-18 I'd sit in his bedroom and we'd argue for hours about democracy and theocracy and utter shit and then we'd go watch DVDs and chat about girl troubles. I mean he was and still is a hardline Catholic with some stupidly libertarian political views. It worked because we don't take each other personally. Or talk about abortion.

Now most people have better things to do than arse about trying to out do each other's clumsy arguments, name dropping philosophers we don't really understand. But to be honest I don't.

jeff's picture

Well...

I think the "arguments" all tend to be from people who are on here all the time, so there's little issue, since we don't take it personally, as we all interact rather often. It rarely happens in people's journals who are not regulars, usually forums (save for our recent women's history argument, heh). So, I don't think there is really a lot of nastiness on oasis, just concentrated passion in very small threads here and there.

I do admit that life would be easier if we all just admitted that I'm right, but no one seems willing to sign on to that just yet...

---

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!

cynical1inthecorner's picture

Hmm. Honestly, I think Oasis

Hmm. Honestly, I think Oasis could get dull without the arguments. I rather involuntarily started the history of women one, and while it at times felt like I was slamming my head into a brick wall (which I mean in the kindest way possible, as they were all very nice brick walls) it was sort of enjoyable. Arguments force you to think and be articulate and voice your own views, not go along with the crowd.

At any rate, there's nothing personal about the arguments. There are people on this site with whom I very ardently disagree with on some issues, but still think they're quite lovely people. You just have to make sure not to take it personally.

That being said, you also have to know when to back down, and to let the issue lie. :]

Leisa's picture

You think recent events on

You think recent events on Oasis have been nasty? You should have been here a couple of years ago, 2003/2004 ish, accounts were hacked, accusations made, yadda yadda yadda, and all of the people, save Jeff and Adrian, whom I used to communicate with via Oasis at that time have left because of it...so yeah, Oasis now, with you younger set is tame.

jeff's picture

Eh...

I think that stuff was a result that most of the users online at that point were former IRC users, and used to all of the fifedoms and cliques that were part of that mindset, so they used to drag all that prior baggage here. They used to quote terms of service back to me, to show how I acted incorrectly, etc., etc., just waste of time stuff. We solved that with one line at the bottom and removed all of that sort of language from the site. But, honestly, I don't think it would be an issue anymore, different generation.

---

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!