one of those days

the ghost's picture

I'd just like to say thanks to everyone that commented on my last journal entry.The support and advice was much appreciated.
I'm not really sure where I stand on the whole issue of my sexuality.I decided to stop looking for a label and just be as open as I can about whatever it is that I am.I'm not sure exactly how,but that pretty much led around to me coming-out to one of my friends,we'll call him James,today.I didn't really consiously decide that I would tell him today.I had been circling around it for a while with him,but he really didn't see it coming.He was completly suprised.He had asked me out a while ago and harboured a little not so secret crush for the last while on me.

Ultimatly I am glad I told him,but I also feel kind of down about it.Not because he took it badly or anything.Infact despite his suprise he was actually really supportive.I'm already out to a couple of friends,but he was the first one that seemed to actually understand how I feel,and we ended up talking about it for quite a while.I'm not sure exactly why I feel so down now though.

I had kind of a gay week last week,well I guess you could call it that.I went to see Tegan and Sara, and Uh Huh Her(Alice from the L Word band).Both gigs were basically big lez fests.Which actually felt really cool,like I fitted in or something.It's times like that that I feel ok with being gay.I feel like its all ok.But then the rest of the time I still kind of hate it.I wish I didn't because I know that means I hate me.
I've just read back through this entry and realised it probably makes me sound really whingy like I am pitying myself or something,which is not what I meant.I just needed to write this because its been a strange day/week and I needed to write it down and cleanse my mind a little.

Comments

underage_thinker's picture

AWESOME! this is the kind of

AWESOME!
this is the kind of entry that's just melancholy-happy-making.....

And lez fests are so cool. They're the only time I feel like I actually belong somewhere.
Trust me, being gay can be fun - gay means happy

it's choking on your beliefs; it's your worst sin saving your fucking life
it's the devil's knife carving holes into you soul so angels will have a place to make their way inside
life doesn't rhyme
-Andrea Gibson

Alyssa in love's picture

yea i went through what you

yea i went through what you are and believe me it gets easier once you figure out who you truly are:) No matter who you are always love yourself because if u dont love you than is it really fair to expect other ppl 2? i got alittle deep there.lol but either way just be yourself and you'll always be happy, try and not stress about it to much... if you want to talk more about this with me please message me. Im always ready to talk. i sure everything will work out just fine :)

the ghost's picture

Thanks for the comments

Thanks for the comments guys.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt