RaspberriesAreFun's picture

Ok so I've been thinking about coming out a lot lately. So I want to kind of write down a few things I might say to my roommate. I guess she's the one I want to come out first to.Here goes:
Hey Erin can I talk to you for a second? I just have a few things on my mind. So I have something that I need to talk to you about. We've known each other for a while and I feel that I can trust you. If I didn't trust you then I prolly wouldn't be friends with you. I want to be honest with you because I would want you to be honest with me when it comes to stuff like this. I know you have always thought it's weird how I never talk about guys unless you bring it up. You also thought it was weird when I had pictures of scantily clad women on my myspace. These things are not random behaviors. There is a reason for me being like this. I'm actually a lesbian. You prolly already had suspicions about me since I am not boy crazy at all. Maybe they started right when you met me or maybe it took a while. I don't know. All I know is this is who I am and I hope that you will accept me for that.

(Critique if you feel the need)


jeff's picture


Seems like a lot of concern for how she'll take it, and you hope she'll be OK with it, and that you can't help this, etc., etc., even if some of that is subtextual.

To me, it's all in the delivery. If you tell someone you're gay in the same way you'd tell them you have cancer, the reaction to both will be the same.

Just turn it around to be that you've finally sorted out something important in your life that is making you happy, so you want the people who are special and important to you to know the good news, etc. Assume she's cool, assume she'll be there for you, and share the part of being gay that bring you joy, rather than focus on past shame about it. It's all about the spin, baby.


"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

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gaynow's picture

I sort of agree with Jeff

I sort of agree with Jeff here; don't make it way too big a deal. But still, coming out is hard as hell. All I can tell you is that any good person who's really your friend will stick by you, and that it almost always goes 1000x better than you imagine (unless you're, like, in the dead of Texas), and that it feels so good to get it over with. Remember, though, that if the serious approach doesn't feel like it'll work, there's the casual as well... but do whatever feels right. And best of luck!!

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader