twilight...

duct tape godess's picture

shelby read to me for the first time in about a mounth...
not much though
my phone started to die so we only got about 2 paragraphs in
she did not notice but i was crying basicaly the whole time we were on the phone
i miss talking to her
we never really talk anymore
its partly because i avoid it...
i love talking to shelby
she is my best friend
but it hurts to hear her talk about amy so much
her beloved amore is the main thing on her mind
so thats what she speaks of most often
i miss being that person
that love
but there is nothin i can do about it
amy is perfect for her
and i am just a 14 year old girl that gets in the way
i try filling my mind with pointless things such as random girls
or wirteing for hours with out end
i wish i could stop careing
stop wanting
i want to let go
but i cant
she was amazing
i hate my life as it is now
some days im happy and nothing can stop me and then there are ones like this
when i cant block out all my thoughts
i feel bad
and completly fucked up
amy is my friend
i like talking to her
but it feels like i am doing something wrong when we talk because of my feelings to shelby
i would and will never do anything to mess with there relationship
they are far to perfect for each other to even think of it
i guess i am just being selfish
but how can i not?
she was my world
and now she is belongs to her

and just a little side note
i cant listen to my favroite song by hinder anymore
every time i hear lips of an angel it makes me cry caz all i can think of is shelby and amy...