i've calmed down alot since yesterday, and i have received some fantastic advice from some good friends. on monday i'll go into our talk being confident, understanding and non-abusive ;) its about him alone, working through his issues - not trying to get us back together. he needs to know i'll be a supportive friend, someone who loves him very much - and its up to him whether he wants that love or not.
so last night i went to my cousin's house. she's like 30 something, but we get along really well. i ended up telling her all about it - coming out to my first family member in the process. she didnt care at all - she's an understanding woman, and she cares about me deeply. she was concerned for me, and we ended up drinking ALOT. we knocked back 2 bottles of wine. i matched 2 to every 1 of her glasses of wine. and cos i usually drink bottles of premixed spirits or mix my own rum and coke, i wasn't pacing myself properally. so "tally ho!", silly me got ripped in no time. we then decided we were hungry, and ate oven chips, and those horrible, processed, rubber crumbed calamari rings. i then proceeded to throw up the calamari rings in two gross sessions.
then i had to get driven home by a friend of ours who'd dropped by, and i had to get my car this morning.
This afternoon i've been horribly nervous in my guts. my boy hadn't even told his best friend he'd decided to end it with me. last night i'd texted her asking her if she could investigate a bit. well, that was the first she'd heard of anything! so today we were talking and she was worried. his phone was turned off and no one was answering at home. so i ended up calling him, and he picked up. all i said was, "B is trying to call you. could you call her please?" he goes, "oh i was going to call her tonight." and we left it at that.
she was worried something bad had happened to him. like he'd told his family, and had kicked him out. or something worse. so now he will call her tonight, and she's going to get back to me tonight.
all arvo now i've been all twisty in my guts - which means i havent done any of my essay due tuesday. guess what i'm doing AALLLLLL day tomoro?
tonight is the politically incorrect party. I will be transforming myself into "ROBERTA: MEGA LESBIAN". i want a name tag, but i think people will be able to guess. i look fully sick, its great.
i think it;ll be a good night, i hope anyway.