i am so tired, exhausted, synonyms galore lol i'm so mentally exhausted because of the break up aftermath, im confused and sad and just over it.
it just aches. i was lonely today. finished my lecture - after cramming 2 days straight writing 1500 words, now i've got to write an oral for tomoro - and hung around for a bit. a couple of us went to the servery, then i felt like eating cake so we made our way to the cafe where the "sophisticated" mature age students hang... slobs like me and my friends stay in the servery with the greasy food usually.
one by one everyone had to leave. B had to see her drama scene partner, then C had a driving lesson. D and i talked and smoked for awhile (despite both of us quitting :P) then this super gay dude that D knows sidled up to us. i'd seen him wandering around before, but i didnt really know him. he was very funny, VERY effeminite, but it was nice to be around new ppl. But this guy got really annoying after a while. eventually his bus came and D hopped on as well to go to the city. i was left there by myself, so i went home.
it really sucks being at uni by urself when all your friends have left. and everywhere i turn i see reminders of A. the coffee machine where he bought me a latte that ended up just being milk :P, the grass knoll where we'd sit, the library isles where we'd sneak little kisses, etc AND THE CARPARK!!! where we had our clumsy first kiss, and where we'd hurry to after classes so we could make out in semi-privacy. it fucking sucks. a friend has consoled me saying that this shitty period does end, and despite 23452567 other ppl telling me that, i believe her.
i love being a university student, but it sure is different from what i expected. its still great, but just different, that's all.
i cant wait for the day when i just don't hurt. hopefully i wont write any shitty poetry in the process.