so today was alright. im over the embarrassment of yesterday. today i nearly ran into A though. i was in the cafeteria today with some friends, and i spotted A's best friend on the mezzanine above us. so we make eye contact, she gives a wave and comes done. we talked a bit away from everyone else. she's really nice, i was friends with her before i met him - by an hour, but still. so anyhoo, i asked how he is, apparently he's acing all his music exams, which is good. i did ask, "is he up there?"... he was. so my mates and i hightailed it out of there. i mean, i can handle not having him in my life, but i couldnt if he waltzed by.
i had a really refreshing talk with my mentor justine yesterday. i was getting so discontented and uneasy about being at uni - everything seemed to just become unhinged. i couldnt think of a good reason why i was there. it horrified me to think i'll be teaching this english shit that i hate, to other ppl who'll probably hate it even more. but she and i had a great talk, and i calmed down. i explained to her about how i had a breakup just before my first essay was due, and how now im in a horrible study routine. we worked out some ways to turn that around, and just how to deal with everything.
we also talked about the lack of gay support groups on campus, because i'm actually not meeting many other gay men - like just for friends. justine finds it strange, because, "you'd think that in a creative arts course there'd be heaps". lol how true. so she's going to do some asking around, get in touch with her gay friends and she what she can do for me. its really nice to have someone helping you out.