it makes me feel so much better when i have some cake or something. i just had a massive piece of my sister's b'day cake. i didnt even slice it, i just attacked the whole things with a fork. im been eating my emotions all week, basically since it happened. that day i went to KFC after work and ordered a 2 piece feed and 6 nuggets. it was so small because i didnt have enough money for a bucket of chicken. if i had a 20 on me, i would have gone for it. i'm been making the hard decisions... maccas or hungry jacks (burger king)? i get something on the way home from uni all the time. and then i gorge myself. i've also been drinking ALOT. More than i used to. last friday, last saturday, last night... just binge drinking. i have had 1 smoke. that's something to be proud of, i guess. i just dont know what to do. everything is turning to shit, im not happy. OVER IT. if i was the type, id be cutting. i know that's serious but thats how i feel... but im too chickenshit and selfish to actually hurt myself. so i lie in bed, and i eat and watch movies, neglect uni work.... but this is the flipside. im usually ok. during the week im all over this shit, im busy and laughing. but then i get home and sink into this bog of depression. whatever.