I never have and never will understand her.

missundastood's picture

I went to the doc and he removed my cast,FINALLY.

Its been 2 days since and now im learning to walk. Im getting better by each day but its kinda pathetic because i cant go out on the streets walking as if i've got something up my ass O_O

But trust D to take me out saying i need "refreshment". So there i was, hair messed up,droppy eyes and with no bra[i dont prefer wearing a bra when i go to sleep], and D slips into the bed next to me.She succesfully awakened me with her soft kisses on my cheek. After getting ready and stuff[that would mean wearing a bra and brushing my hair],we both headed out...we were aimlessly wondering around in the locality around my house.Well,technically,i was limping,so yea.

After 45 mins,i persuade her to take me home because my leg was starting to kill me.We reach home and i fall on my living room couch and dunt plan to get up for the next 5 hrs. We then watch "When Harry met Sally" because it was the only romantic/comedy we both hadnt watched for a long time. Later on,we both make fake orgasm noises the way Meg Ryan did in the movie.Only,my little sister walks into the living room and looks at us as if we've lost it.

It was a fun filled day...it always is with D,but its just that we DINT do it.
Again.We dint kiss.I duno whats WRONG with me.why cant i get myself to do it? I even dreamt about us doing it but still,i can never get myself to place it in reality! And you know,its not like im new to all this.
She reaches home and gives me a buzz.She wanted to know why we never get down to doing it. I have no answer. Its just that a part of me,actually a huge part of me,likes her ONLY as a friend. And that part of me,doesnt want to so called "ruin" the friendship by doing anything of that sort.My best friend K[who's staright] tells me that i am already in a relationship with her,so i cant really take a step back now.

Amongst all this,my fucked up ex[S],comes online and screws up my mood. She trys to make me jealous by adding her so called new gf in the conversation and gets all lovey dovey with her. I dont get it. I know she isnt dating that chick[because she has a bf and dats why she ditched me in the 1st place],then Why is she doing this to me?! Obviously,i told her about me and D but is she jealous?is this why she is trying to make me jealous too?

Well,im not getting jealous at all. I just got furious looking at her great attempts to make me jealous.I mean,thats totally lame.I just went offline after that,telling them that im busy.
Did i tell ya'll how much i hate her?Well,i do.I really do.I hate that bitch.
I never have and never will understand her.

Comments

shewillbeloved's picture

Hey Hon

Wow.. That was strong. Maybe you should be honest with D. I mean if you feel deep in your heart that you are meant to be just friends. Then let it be that way. Trust me.. Don't wait. . The relationship will just get more intimate and you will just feel more uncomterble.. Be honest. If shes your best friend, why can't you be honest to her about this? Maybe cause your scared of hurting her? Yea that makes sence.. I'd be scared too.. But i'd realize that things will eventually get really fucked up if I keep going through with this. Don't get me wrong. I give good advice but I can't take it.. My advice is good, awsome alot of people say and it makes alot of sence but I know advice is hard to take.. Trust me.. I can't take it either. So don't feel bad, if you cant do it.. I totally understand and feel for you. Oh and i'm here if you want to talk more. You can email me on this site.. I'd be glad to help.. Hope all goes well.. Much luck..
Chloe

love her purely or don't love her at all

missundastood's picture

Aaaw! Thnk you so much! Your

Aaaw! Thnk you so much! Your adorable!=D I know,i know,i should probably just tell her the truth and not let her hang on to nothing....But its hard.I mean,I will try though.I just need time,i guess.Thnx for your help and support chicka :)
<3

Let's get one thing straight, I'm not.