I think I'm gonna leave college, go take time off. This year has ended on such a shit note with such few real friends, and the rest of the year wasn't really bubbly. It's not like I've found a girlfriend that's normal, no, I've only maybe had three crushes since I've been here, and maybe one of those could have turned to love. The people at my school are dramatic, singlemindedly driven, and so different from the people at home. I thought a liberal college would be like growing up Unitarian Universalist, but it's not.
The classes have been utter BS. Extracurriculars--a cappella is not what I'd dreamed of, and the garden could be good eventually but the people aren't perfect. The only good thing is the co-op I cook at, where I'll have a job next year, but that's only Fridays, and I've missed it for a month because of a cappella. It's not enough to be worth it.
I'm burnt out. I don't have so many real friends here anyway. I could come back next year with a good attitude and try to reshape my life, but I think it might be too soon. What if this college isn't the one for me in the long run? What if I just need perspective? A year could give me some grounding, get me out of school for a while.
I just don't know what to do. I think I might hire one of those databasey people to help me find something. I don't have the money, but last year when I thought I'd take time off I couldn't find anything cheap/right on my own. I was thinking I might go to chef school, and then to Spain to work on my Spanish. A year in Spain could be good. It'd be pretty gay-friendly too. I like the feeling of Latin America more, but I think for a year I'd be happier in Spain. The cooking, or maybe sailing, or maybe carpentry, or farming. Something out of school, something real. I need to do something real. Then maybe when I have perspective I can move on with my life. But this drama shit, this BSing school shit, does not cut it. It's not what I want. It's not real.
What do you all think?/Do you know anyone in Spanish-speaking countries?