So recently..

DesuCake9000Cheez's picture

So recently I've been noticing the extreme criticism that gay and bisexual life style gets in my school. People aren't using gay as a general insult, rather actually referring to sexuality. I don't react- I'm too shy. I wish I could though. It hurts.
It's hard trying to fit in when you're 11 and gay D:
Advice please?



Neutrina's picture

Wait it out - you won't be

Wait it out - you won't be stuck there forever.
However, I know that on its own is tough, and you shouldn't have to just suffer. I'd say, find a few allies - friends you can trust enough to talk to. You don't even really have to come out to them, just tell them bigotry in general bothers you. I've found that teachers can be great allies, because they're not caught up in student politics. So you can actually talk to them without watching your back.
Um, if your school has a counselor, they've actually got some confidentiality policy - I know that's who I talked to in middle school. If there's a stigma about that, then pick your favorite teacher. Or the one you have before a long break - lunch, after school, whatever.
You'll get through it. Hang in there; we're here for you

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She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
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jeff's picture


Junior high and such is about jockeying for position. So, insecure people need to let people know they are not as far down the list as they might seem, so they make sure people know they're not gay, as if to indicate anyone gay would be further down the list from them, etc.

It's hard not to take personally, but it isn't personal. I find homophobia to be a great test. The goal is to keep checking in and see how, over time, it bothers you less and less. When people say it now, you react personally, because you feel the sting of identification and inner self-hatred and don't want people to think that way about you. At some point, and where I am now, I just feel curious and sorry for the people who say it. It has no effect on me personally, and I wonder why that person needs to put down others and what that means in his life. So, give it time.


"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

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femmeboi's picture

11???? you are brave...

11???? you are brave... school is really testing. bad enough when youre 15 or 18 and openly gay, let alone 11...