The weather sucks...I'm not participating...and here's why.

Ashe Wednesday's picture

So I'm sitting in my dorm room up in Stevens Point, WI (don't feel bad if you don't know where that is) looking out my window, and it finally stopped snowing for today!
Doesn't that statement just make you wanna shoot things?
I mean, I know Wisconsin has fucky-uppy weather, but come the fuck on!

Anyway, I posted this on my LJ but wanted to post it here, just for some feedback and maybe one or two people who feel the same way as me on the matter.

"So I know The National Day of Silence is coming up (April 18th I'm thinking) and I've already had people ask me if I'm participating. Until recently I hadn't had a definite answer. Now I do; I won't be.
Not because people seem to think I'm 'losing touch' with my gayness since I've been dating a guy, or because I'm too afraid to stand up for something. I just do not see the help in it. I wish there was use in it and that more people didn't just use it as an excuse to shut up for a day or sleep in their classes, but the truth is that's all it's there for. No one takes it seriously and that's unfortunate, because there is a possiblity of the action yielding a strong and, ironically, deafening effect to those who choose to perpetuate homophobia.
(woah, big words)

Secondly, I'm yet to see it's effect. I went to Arts for three of the four years I've participated and it was pretty much a case of preaching to the converted; it doesn't work if you're surrounded by people who are all doing it too. Even in middle school when I did it, it didn't have any effect on anyone within the school or my family, except irritation and alienation, and that's not what we're working for. Most people just ignored the ones not talking and carried on with their day, or remarked on how stupid we were or that "at least the annoying gays shut up for a day" Don't think that's the angle we're going for.

Maybe I'm seriously jaded and don't think anything will rush acceptance, but on the other hand I do believe that people's actions make a difference, just not in this way. The practice just seems 2-dimensional to me.

I mean the most respect I can to whoever is participating in DoS. If you believe this is a proper way to protest homophobia, then by all means go at it. All I ask is that if you do participate try going somewhere where you aren't surrounded by people who do it too. Try actually doing something with your protest rather than just shutting up."

xoxo

Comments

jeff's picture

Eh...

I've never been a big fan of DoS, but I figure if it helps people and starts dialogue, who cares?

I think there is a sense that we need to come up with something perfect and it's just not going to happen. Same with gay pride events, some people love them, some think they are horrible and stereotypical (although I disregard that criticism if the person saying it is closeted, which is usually the case).

The point is to come up with something that makes sense in your life, and not worry about the rest.

I think of DoS as the equivalent of putting a "Support Our Troops" magnet on your car. You know, you do nothing, but you think you make a statement. But, it doesn't mean there isn't good intention behind it.

---

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

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Ashe Wednesday's picture

true, but that's the one

true, but that's the one thing I've noticed: it almost never starts a contructive dialouge. If anything at all, it alienates those not participating because they feel like they've done something wrong. Then the converstion, if any, is negative and accusatory.

There is good intention behind it, I agree, and it's great that people (gay, straight, whatever) are willing to so readily stand up for something that wouldn't have even be entertained when, say, my mother was my age.

jeff's picture

Actually...

Back in the 80s when I was in college, we had something called Blue Jeans Day, and all over campus, posters would say "Wear Blue jeans on Thursday to show your support for gay rights." or somesuch.

The point was that, of course, most people wore blue jeans every day anyway. The only thing it did was the homophobes would NOT wear blue jeans. Of course, it was nice because the only action was taken by people so uncomfortable with their own sexuality, they couldn't even be seen to support gay rights, which is sort of nice, put all the work on the anti-gay side.

I'd imagine blue jeans day requires as much prep work as Day of Silence, though you didn't have to print cards to hand to people.

So, every generation has its thing, I guess.

---

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!