I thought I broke free of this little cycle of feeling hopeless and depressed, but now I feel just as horrible as before, if not worse.
I feel like I've lost all hope...in anything.
I don't see any point to life anymore. I don't see why I should keep living.
I contemplate doing drastic things...killing myself, or running away, or hurting someone...because I need attention. Everything hurts.
I even doubt religion now. I wonder why Goddess doesn't help me when I ask, almost plead to her...maybe I grovel too much. They say that's a bad thing. But I really can't help it. There's just so much pain.
It's like there's a dark raincloud over my head, and it won't stop following me. Maybe this is just the way it has to be. But why? What did I do to deserve this? I'll admit, I'm not a saint, but I've never done anything that would result in this sort of karmic backlash. Then again, maybe I'm wrong, I dunno.
I feel so alone. It's like, no matter how many times people say, "Don't worry, I'm here for you", I still feel alone. I feel like I have no one... My parents can't know about this, they'll disown me. I hardly see my friends anymore. People at school make me feel worse. There's no point in going to a shrink, they'll just put me on meds and that'll be it. And as I said earlier, I doubt religion now. So where else can I go?
I ask so many questions and receive no answers.
I feel trapped in a world full of suffering and hate.
I feel forced to walk down a path, alone, towards my own destruction. This is my life.
And sometimes, I wish it would just end.