Nitrous oxide

Riku's picture

-Laughing gas, makes you giddy. I'm giddy. Ugh.

So yeah, after I posted my journal I went and sent her (she needs a nickname... I'll call her M because I'm feeling incredibly non-creative.) an e-mail explaining pretty much anything... Well, I was gonna send her an e-mail anyways because I had to send some files to her because she scanned some stuff in at my house, but I decided to throw it in because it was her birthday and figured it'd be a nice surprise.

It surprised me how not-nervous I was sending it though. Normally I'd freak out, but I knew she liked me so that's probably why.

So anyways, yesterday I spent some time at her house, most of the time was spent just sitting on the floor (Which is HARD by the way, her room is in a basement, there's a rug-carpet-thing in there but it's kind of worn down. XD) and holding hands and whatnot. And it was really nice because I'm really comfortable around her, I don't have to worry about doing something weird or saying something wrong. And she's so sweet. ^^

I think, what I was worried about is, she's really liked me for a long time, and I probably don't feel as strongly for her as she does for me. And I guess that seems... Unfair? But I'm not worried about it anymore. ^^ Feelings will grow, and I shouldn't worry over a problem that will solve itself. And as long as we're both happy... I mean that's the entire point right?

Yesterday was a little annoying though because my other friend (A, I'll call her. Creative no?) called me like, 3 times. And it wouldn't be so bad but I see that girl before school, between classes, and sometimes I walk home with her, and spend practically the rest of the day with her... OFTEN. Too often. I've been trying to drop hints but I don't think she's picking up on them. (More like sweeping them too the side and pretending they don't exist.) And I'm starting to get annoyed. I love her and all, but WAY too clingy. Like by far. And it's not just "I want to spend time with my girlfriend" either. it's more like, "I have a LIFE to attend to and it doesn't exclusively include you." She gets upset if I want to hang out with other friends, or not go somewhere with her, or stay by myself, or let her do her own thing for once...

And quite frankly I think she likes me a little more than she should. She has a (long distance) girlfriend, (Who everyone seems to think is ME by the way, she clings and hangs around me so much it's no wonder, I'd think we were too.) and I can understand being lonely and stuff. But she needs to find someone else to cling too, because I'm getting like, anxiety and stuff just from being around her so much. I'm more than a bit antisocial/introverted and I just can't do it.

Also, I plan on hiding somewhere for the first week of Summer Vacation. I'll hang out with my family and with M (She practically is family anyways. XD), but probably not anyone else. I'm going to explode if so many people keep wanting my attention so much. 0w0;

Um, but not wanting to leave you on a bad note, I don't know where I want to go with M. Because we decided we need to go on a date somewhere. But I don't like movies, and both of us are a little on the indecisive side. XD

I was thinking along the lines of picnic though. Just because I've never had a proper one before, and the weather's been really nice lately. ^^



whateversexual_llama's picture

ooh yeah. Pack a basket and

ooh yeah. Pack a basket and walk to a park. It's such a nice sweet way to spend time with somebody. =)

Be yourself. 'Cause if you're busy being somebody else, who's gonna be you?