I'm oh so naive when it comes to situations.
Such as someone putting your hand on their lower stomach area means they want you to slip it in their pants.
Things like that.
I was rather smashingly drunk at the time but still I figure I should have known that.
I did however learn that day that mixing a lot of vodka/mountain dew with weed is a very bad idea unless I don't care if I pretty much pass out.
And sometimes boys know exactly what your going through and help you get intoxicated without taking advantage of you.
I love that boy lol.
Although I guess getting drunk because you can't have who you want is not the best advice but i'd rather do that than be upset over her.
Then one of my other friends who I stayed up insanely late talking to last night helped me more than he could know.
[ Side note: Although he did ask me to buy condoms and I'm not sure why.]
I barely cut, just eight little "cat scratches" on my thigh. They won't even scar.
I thought after what I did to my arm this last time and how bad it was I wouldn't have the desire to cut again.
Looks like thats not true.
Fuck addictive personalities.
I hate it.
Its so hot all ready, summer is going to suck.
I'm applying for a job at a summer horse camp though.
Ten dollars an hour.
Thats more than I would be making if I still had my old job.
I hope I get it.
Kids and horses.
Two of my favorite things.
Aside from my cat and drugs.
[Even though I'm trying to sober up. It seems like every time I get rid of one addiction another one comes just as fast.]
I think thats about it.
I weighed 110 lbs. this morning, its been my constant weight for about a month.
I'm thinking I might look into diet pills.
I'm not anorexic or anything just to clear that up.
I just want to weight 100 lbs.
It also occurred to me that I might glorify all the shit I do.
Trust me on this most of it isn't that fun.
Your not really living life when your so fucked up you can't remember most things that happen & when your days and nights all blend together.
Theres what a little over two weeks until june?
I have no idea where may went.
And I just realized my birthday is in pretty much two months and some odd weeks.