can u be attracted to someone but not want sex...

kumar2011's picture

ok so the idea poped im my head while reading Azul journal....udk wierd...can u think someone is sexy or gorgerous and not want to have sex wit them...thats a thought....tell me wat u think???

gaynow's picture

Of course. Totally totally

Of course. Totally totally totally. In my mind there are a few types of attraction: platonic (as a friend), romantic, physical, and sexual. And I think you can have any combination of those. So you can like someone romantically, or even be very attracted to them physically, and not be attracted to them sexually. I feel that way about some men--they're good-looking and physically attractive, but I wouldn't want to have sex with a man.

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

Ashe Wednesday's picture

most definately. A lot of my

most definately. A lot of my crushes/etc. have been people I haven't had a genuine desire to sleep with.

runningupthefreeway's picture



fatefellshort's picture

Of course! Surely you were

Of course! Surely you were attracted to someone before you ever knew what sex was.

jeff's picture


I agree with gaynow. Of course, if you are quantifying this as a sexual attraction, and you don't want sex, then that's entirely different.

"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment." - Rumi

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electricity's picture

I feel that way with C [my

I feel that way with C [my ex, if you don't follow my journals], who I think is really very cute. But I don't really want to sleep with her. At all. My attraction to her is platonic. In fact, I don't know if I ever really wanted to sleep with her at all, though there was a time when I thought she was hot. She is, but I don't know... not in the same way.

fox333's picture

Yeah. I feel attracted to

Yeah. I feel attracted to alot of guys but I feel no desire to sleep with them.

'Oh Brave New World!'
- Brave New World
I think...

bulldyke's picture

might as well jump on the

might as well jump on the band wagon, cause i agree with what everyone's saying. i've definitely been attracted to people i don't want to have sex with. sometimes, my body wants the sex, but my mind doesn't, and sometimes i'll just see a gorgeous woman, and have no desire to be with her at all (sexually or otherwise).

i get crushes on people all the time, but (except for my new obsession) i've never really been attracted to them. it's just appriciation of the female form. :P

"I've never written a love song, that didn't end in tears." ~P!nk

Emmett's picture


I am attracted to so many people its not even funny but mostly I don't want to have sex with them. This may complicate the matter: I do however want to kiss every single one of them.

"Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes." ~Walt Whitman

Theo's picture

Yeaah totally. Sometimes you

Yeaah totally. Sometimes you might want to keep them being perfect, and oh-so-pure (no matter what the reality is), or then you just think that they're sttractive, and what not, but ou really don't wanna fuck them.
Hmm it's maybe a lil different in my case, since all my previous crushes were boys ,and I turned out to be a lesbian, sooo I really was kinda afraid of their dicks and didn't touch them even though I had a crush on them, or what ever.

~The Edge Chronicles~

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

Totally! Sex isn't

Totally! Sex isn't everything. You can find someone drop dead gorgeous and not wanna fuck them. I mean. I'm sure sex would come up eventually, but that isn't what builds a relationship or anything....

I mean there was this chick in my english class my senior year (which was like....3 months ago XD) that I thought was cute, but I had no intention of ever sleeping with or dating....pretty much she existed and I thought she was pretty. End of story...

Cloudy with a chance of meatballs

carmen143's picture

That happens a lot to me

That happens a lot to me too. Just seeing someone pretty but not really doing anything about it.
<3 FLAME ON! <3

PolySciMC's picture


Pretty is not HOT!! Hot is beyond looks, right? I mean, you wouldn't just have sex with someone just for looks, would you? Or WOULD YOU???

"War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands."
-H. L. Mencken

carmen143's picture

No. I would definitely need

No. I would definitely need to know the person rather well for that to happen.
<3 FLAME ON! <3

newt's picture

Love is not about SEX SEX

Love is not about SEX SEX SEX. That's lust.

My name is not gay;
because I am more than a orientation.

My name is not fag;
because I am more than a whipping post.

My name is not perv;
because I am more than a four-letter word.

PolySciMC's picture


That's a good one, but I definitely think you can be attracted to someone and NOT want sex...Maybe the one person you are attracted to for reasons other than just the physical is THE ONE...Or not ;) (I am somewhat of a romantic!)

But, in sum, you can be attracted to them and not have sex. You can like their intelligence, their overall style, their life philosophy...AND NOT WANT SEX!!! You're not alone! It happens to all of us!

Peace Out

"War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands."
-H. L. Mencken

epicfailure's picture

Yeah of course. I only like

Yeah of course. I only like girls because of their personality and their looks but I don't want them sexually.

* I wish you knew how much I love you
I wish you felt the same way to*

The Bookworm's picture



arata13's picture

Yes you can. (By personal

Yes you can. (By personal experience) Sex destroys a relationship it doesn't build one.

ferrets's picture


theres this guy in my science class. hes great. and i kida just watn to snuggle with him, but not have sex with him really.

More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, my friends, that is true perversion.
-Harvey Milk

hellonwheels's picture


i find myself attracted to ppl's personalities and quirks more than the physical anyway...

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

the mouse that roared's picture

Sounds about right. You can

Sounds about right. You can also be in love or even in a relationship with someone and not want sex with them--maybe you aren't ready or maybe it's not what floats your boat.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. --Anais Nin

centerfielder08's picture

Yes. i think you can

Yes. i think you can definietly be attracted to someone without wanting sex in the short/long term.

stacey's picture


theres girls i cant stand but i think theyre sexy. and beautiful. but i wouldnt want them in bed.