from time to time I wonder about certain things, I mean, we all do. like, what's the meaning of life, what's my destiny, etc.
today, during the car ride home, I started thinking about one question in particular:
why did Goddess make me gay?
if you're religious, you've probably wondered about this at one point. why did God/Goddess/Higher Power make me gay?
I have been taught that life in this world is an ongoing learning experience.
Knowing this, I believe that Goddess made me gay because she wanted to teach me about acceptance and self-confidence. to accept who I am without question, to become completely comfortable in my own skin.
"so, has it?" you ask.
coming out to myself taught me a great deal. when I look back to that span of time in 7th grade, when I was so afraid of myself, frightened by that boy staring me back in the mirror, and when I look at myself now, there's a big difference. I don't hate myself for being attracted to guys. I don't agonize over my friends finding out. I don't give a shit about people knowing at school.
but I still have a lot to learn, a lot more to experience. like, when I'm away from my parents, when I experience the real world for the first time out of their watchful eye, and I start doing "gayer" stuff, like partying and frequenting the Gayborhood, what will it be like? am I going to run and hide because I'm afraid no one will like me? or am I going to go in there and live it up? or when I meet someone, and we're out in public, am I going to let him hold me and kiss me, or will I be too afraid of people giving us dirty looks?
all that aside, I know that Goddess made me gay for a reason. my sexuality is a beautiful part of me that no one can take away, ever.