music is life's picture

One of the 3 people I'm out to is my older sister T. I told here about 3 months ago. She seemed ok with it, at first. She would deliberatly refer to things as being "gay". It made me upset and I told her, but she kept doing it becuse she knew it made me upset. We have gotten in fights and she would call me things like fucking dumb dyke and carpet muncher. I normally wouldn't put up with her calling me stuff like that but the one time where I fought back to her she threatened to out me to our parents. I'm not at all ready to come out to my parents. She has already outed me to one of her friends.
She keeps hanging it over my head, like I'm her bitch lately because i can't do or say anything back to her to even the score. I've asked her so many times to stop saying stuff. She says shes sorry and she was just upset when she said it, but its happened like 5 times.
Also, yesturday we went to the mall and we walked by this really hot girl and I was obviously checking her out. T was said, " You have no chance in hell with her, you cant even date guys, let alone ever get married." I just stopped walking and looked at her and turned the other way and walked off.
I know they're little things and other people receive worse things than that, but I never thought my first personal homophobic encounters would be from my sister, who I trusted to and told her the truth. I don't know what to do.


loreonpravus's picture

*internet hug* Sibling shit

*internet hug*

Sibling shit sucks. I'm out to my parents (actually, they might have forgotten, but I doubt it) because I got outed by a staff member at my old school, but my little brother doesn't know, because he's younger and my parents think it's inappropriate. They weren't the accepting type about it; sorta homophobic themselves- my mom would always express some sort of disgust at it and my dad would just be outright opposed to it.

Even if they are just "little things", still hurts pretty badly, so don't think you're making mountains out of molehills. And you can check out whoever you want, there's nothing that says who you can and can't look at.

As for the marriage thing, you can always move.

mattymunch67's picture


I can see where you are coming from. My sister is a lesbian, so somtimes we can joke with each other. But sometimes she gets really personal. The best thing to do is litterelly tell her "you know what im going to be the bigger man (woman) in this situation." Just remember karma is a bitch! She will see one day that she is wrong... the only thing you have to do now is show her that you arent afraid of what she has to say. I hope it gets better for you.

((another night; another dream wasted on you.))

thinks's picture

No offense but your sister

No offense but your sister seems to be the one with issues. I'm not a very fighty person so I can't really give you any advice but I would recomend silence. I guess I believe that if people don't get a respnse from you they get irritated about it and give up. That's old school advice though and it probably wouldn't work in your situation.

Either way, good luck.