Azul's picture

So I'm a Life Guard. We had training tonight. I SUCK at the crawl. I mean I FUCKING SUCK at it! Same thing with the breast stroke. Then I did the modified back stroke and Oh sweet Jesus! I'm so amazing at that and I use 1/3 of the effort. It's crazy!

Then after the session I went to Ben and Jerry's. And these three 'gals were checking me out. They were even talking about me. They were all like, 'I think he's cute', 'Nah, I don't think he is, but he looks nice' and 'Blah, blah, blah'. I was like oh, they're talking about lil' ol' me. Too bad, I like cock quite a bit.

Clitorises are just scary. They rhyme with Tortoise. Ew >.<


music is life's picture

I hope my life never depends

I hope my life never depends on me doing the breast stroke because I would for sure die. Penis doesn't rhyme with George Bush, but their still both repulsive. :) Is tortoise the best you could come up with? lol just jokin

Riku's picture

And what's a matter with

And what's a matter with tortoises? XD

Well penis sounds like wenis... Which is the skin on your elbow. Which is just weird. Oh yeah and they're repulsive too, IMO. Also, if you're a life guard girls are going to oogle at you, it's unavoidable. So yeah. Have fun with that.

jeff's picture


You can balance everything out by posting a Speedo pic on Oasis...


"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!

Azul's picture

Like they would let male

Like they would let male life guards wear a speedo. Are you crazy?

Girls have to wear onesies!