Azul's picture

So to be a guard of lives you usually have training. Something about federal and state regulations...

Anyway I had a session today and it lasted 6 hours (jesus christ that was long). But! that's not the exact point o' this.

Anyway, this chick that's been a guard for a while is an absolute cunt-a-sour-ous rex to like the first degree. Okay maybe to the second or third (I like hyperboles, what can I say?!?!). Anyway, she's a rude bitch to everyone in my class except me. Okay not a bitch per se, but she's rude (and the girls in my class are all sweet hearts, wtf?) So I got a hunch that she wanted to bed me or something to that degree. That hunch was reinforced by the fact that she said "hi" to me randomly when I was going to the bathroom and asked me how I was. She was even engaged in conversation with two other people (Like, wtf?!?!). And then my brother (he happens to be more coworker also) told me that his ex, who now has the hots for him but doesn't want anything serious, told him that that girl wants me.

But my co-trainees are such tootses! One's named Chelsea, and Oh My God!, she reminds me of like a Madison Ave. 'gal, y'know a NYC-Manhattan chick, but she's not a Manhattan bimbo and doesn't drive like one (Crazy, I know!). Then Shannon is super nice. Not the smartest but she's super cool. And then Steph is kinda gung-ho, butch, but she's a girl too. It's crazy. She's like a National Guard chick, but still one of those people that go out to get manicures and pedicures (I don't understand why people wouldn't want a pedicure, it's beyond me).

Then everyone keeps only telling me that I look like Ryan Philepee. It's been going on for like two years, it's crazy as hell.

And to conclude this uber fabulous poast, nan is my favorite type of bread.


jeff's picture


Wow, what a curse to be compared to Ryan! sucks to be you... hehe.

If they notice you only seem to check out the hot guys at the pool, they might figure things out. I remember once, I went to a water park as a teen, and I was laying on a tube in the lazy river. And the one lifeguard there had long shorts on, and I guess he didn't realize that his long shorts, plus no underwear, plus the angle of his chair above the lazy river... I certainly went around a lot more times than I otherwise would have, hehehe.


"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment." - Rumi

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Azul's picture

Was that around the time

Was that around the time that Clara Barton founded the Red Cross?