i had a better title for this, but i forgot it.

Anonymous's picture

.. and i'm still listening to the Last Song I'm Wasting On You, written and sung by the ever amazing Amy Lee :]]]]

goodness, i love her. :] she's my idol for a few reasons: she's freaking amazing when it comes to lyricism/composing music. she's one of the few female singers who ISN'T using sex to sell her music. and she doesn't look like she hasn't eaten in five years (i'm not calling her fat or chubby; i'm just saying she's what real beauty is, not twiggy, tiny, and sick looking, like on ANTM).

that whole ANTM(america's next top model) look pisses me off. the plus size model on whatever season was like a size 3. and J is like obsessed with that show... so when she told me she was going on a diet & changing her look ("i want to lose like 300 pounds. and dye my hair blonde"), i knew why. that girl is so insecure, and has media's image of the "perfect" girl for it. she's gorgeous, and i always tell her that (and yet she hasn't caught on about my crush...) and it never works for her.

i finally talked to katie today. :D we're making plans to hang out, even though i'm basically booked for the rest of the month.
tues - L is probably sleeping over.
Wed - not sure; packing
Thurs - i have to get the blue out of my hair! :[ maybe i can get red :]
fri- leaving for OBX
next fri- going up to my cousin, Mandi's wedding :]
and i get home last week of july.
anyway, katie's one of my best friends ever and my hero. i really look up to her, even though she's like 3 feet tall :P (haha, sorry babe). i haven't seen her since my church's youthgroup began summer break, in like may. ever since i met her, i've been really active in church functions, and i began to become more comfortable with myself. a little before i came out to katie, she gave me this ring,

claddagh ring

randomly, as an early christmas present. (it was her ring) i remember saying to her, "i want a ring like that" & pointing to the claddagh on her hand. and she took it off her and and said, "merry christmas, babydoll."and i don't think i've taken it off ever since. i really love katie; i have that protective older sister feeling around her, even though she's four years older than me and has been taking care of her baby sister (who is still older than me) for a long time; longer than i've known her. i haven't come out to anyone else at the youth group besides the students & one intern, Laura. actually, tara came out for me. she loves doing that.

i hate how i just write randomly about anything, but i have to say this or it'll bother me forever: J's best friend/kind-of-boyfriend (not the one i bitched about a couple days ago. this guy i like, cus he cares about her just the same as i do) just signed up for the Navy. I'm really worried about how she's taking it b/c she said "i've already cried enough" when she told me about him signing up, and i'm really worried for his safety. i've never met the guy, but i can tell when she talks about him how much she cares about him.