just wanna use your love tonight

Anonymous's picture

today somehow sucked and was amazing at the same time.

it was community day today, and as soon as it started, i got a call from G. he missed me ^-^. so i hung out with him & his baby sister, Robyn. she's adorable. she ran up and hugged me, and he yelled "she's a lesbian! look out!" i got kind of pissed. i mean, she's barely 9 years old. G and i flirted for a little, and then i got a call from erin, and hung out with her. erin is one of my (few actual) best friends, and the most supportive person ever, & is amazing w/ advice and making me feel better, etc. and her boyfriend & a bunch of other people. erin and i walked past j, and (i'm convinced erin can sense when i'm upset without even looking at me) stopped, pulled me into a hug, and said, "babe, this must be so hard for you. i don't know how you do it. but i love youu!" so after she said that, i was basically okay for most of the day. we sang and laughed and made fun of her boyfriend mainly.

i came out to another friend today. she already knew, she said. i was like... uh.. how? and she explained that she heard the rumor (mike saying "s's a freaking DKYE everyone!") and how she kind of always knew.

and adam (erin's boyfriend) explained how he doesn't like gay people. "well, you see, if i'm playing pool, i don't want to be worried about some fag getting behind me" that pissed me off, but i know him too well to take him seriously.

L finally broke it off with M for good. i'm like YESSSSS! *does cartwheel...and fails miserably* she made him cry XD lmao. for a while there, i thought i had a chance. we talked about her other boyfriend, who i think i called B. i was telling this story to adam about how B wouldn't let go of me when we dated, and i used L to demonstrate. i had my arms wrapped around her for like 4 seconds, and then she said "what the...?" so i pulled away and stayed away from her the rest of the night. every time i hang out w/ her... idk what it is... i just, idk, fall a little.

anywayy, there was a dance thingy. i hated it. someone threw a glow stick, and it landed on me and spilled all over me. at that point, i was about to break down already because of the combination of J and L in one day. i teared up, and just stood there, lip quivering. i was with erin, and she took my glasses, which were covered in neon green gook, and wiped them down until i could see again, and then helped me pull myself together enough to tell L i was leaving... and then I Kissed A Girl came on, and my mood changed. about when franny started going up to two random girls at a time and saying, "KISS! KISS, DAMMIT!" i sang a little of it, and laughed a little, then Shake It came on, and i stayed for most of that before leaving with L. ;]

she walked me back to my friend's house, where my parents were most of today. i had an urge to tell her how i feel, but then tony joined us and walked with us. i think tony likes her or vice versa. *sigh* i'm not sure, but i think i remember us holding hands a little or something. it was that or me trying to leave, but couldn't because she was facing me, holding onto my fingertips and making sure i was okay. she's so cute like that. she worries too much about me sometimes. i remember turning to leave, and her hugging me and i didn't really want to let go. after that, i hung out with a bunch of little kids up at my friend's. L came up after the fireworks to say goodbye again, and i got another hug. :] by then, i probably smelled like dog from that random puppy i kept playing with.

i want to go back and repeat only the good things about today.
... like, all of us, sitting on the cliff (not really a cliff. just really steep hill that almost killed me) in a line, and just talking and hanging out.

oh, and i forgot to mention, my friend's little sister flung chocolate icecream around and it landed, of course, on my white tank top.
not just on it, but right on my boob, and right in the center, to be more exact. laurena said it looked like a nipple.