Loneliness

krfufflez's picture

Hey guys its Nicky I havent been on for a long ass time for almost over a year now and I know Jeffs pretty pissed about that. Something came up and that was love. To be honest I Finally answered the riddle of something you can love and hate at the same time and get hurt while doing it and that is love somebody. I was in a relationship for that time period over two years and I was diagnosed with Bi-polar type I (don't judge me instead ask questions). I was in this relationship over a year and it was my first sexual relationship and yes the sex was good but the best part was knowing that he was mine and that I could rely on him for anything. He was slender dark hair round face very cute and I loved to hug him. BUt when it came down to it he stole my personality he stole what I love to do and thats be out their and entertain people. He was very shy and loved anime and couldent get enough sleep. I made his extrovert side come out and he would strive in that but then the thng was is that he loved anime and loved himself more i take it i would call him every day and make sure i said i loved him and i would think of him alot and hope he had a great day but guess what???? Did that do anything for me no! When he went to Japan got sick and got really sad because he missed his favorite city did he even care when i surprised him at the airport. I did some things that pissed him off such as not technichally cheat but i did talk to other people not to date but like a fantasy type thing but that was when my head wasent screwed on straight. We had nothing in common but love and i guess it just turned out to be for the sex. But all in the end he is never talking to me agian and i am very sad about this. I feel lonely because I am 17 years old a cub and who is attracted to the nerdy slender/abercrombie and fitch type. I feel lost..... I feel stupid..... And i feel like a mess...... I am not obsessive but i am someone who loves to show that they love someone.... I mean this guy that i dated i brought him flowers once and he asked me why and threw them out because he didnt want to carry them. Any way it feels good to get this down on paper. So please leave a comment feel free to send me a message. I would love to talk to anybody.

your buddy,
Nicky