So obsessed with Def Leppard lately..

fatefellshort's picture

That it's not even funny. Things have been so stressful yet I've been happy. Lets see. Haven't binged in.. 19 days. Wooh. I've also lost 11 pounds since then. Doesn't sound healthy but you always drop a lot at first and then it slows down a lot. Hmm so now I'm 145.5 at 5'6.5''. Why can I not just be 5'7''?? Grr. I probably stunted my growth being anorexic at 13 and 14. Stupid. Aiming for 125. That's good for my height. Plus on the slim-ish side would help for running.. =]

Yesterday I ran a 5K in 35 minutes. thats so.. bad. And that was on FLAT ground. I know I can't compare myself to everyone else, I just have to improve myself. But seriously. Most girls get 21-26. And real practice hasn't even started yet.. *Sigh* I just gotta keep working and believing.

I still have no appetite. I bought some food that I eat at shoprite yesterday. Especially stuff with fiber cause I'm not getting enough. It helps a little but I still have no appetite. Like, I get hungry. But then when I look at food it sickens me and I have no desire to eat. *Sigh*. I guess its a blessing in losing weight but it makes me nervous too. I do eat anyway though. Don't wanna fuck my body up.

My birthday is on Sunday. Wooh! Officially be sixteen. =]

I had this weird dream where children with cleft palette birth defect like circled around me and beat me up. It's weird. The only connection I can think of is that the henna tat i got a few weeks ago made a donation to research for that condition. Ahh weird though. I woke up screaming again =/

*sigh* My life is so stressful right now that all I seriously feel like doing is running. And I am not even good yet. It just feels right. I don't know.

I really need to learn to write in my journal when I actually have thoughts.


music is life's picture

I suck at running to, my

I suck at running to, my form is all f'ed up. I didn't know it was possible to have a bad running form until my coach told me i had one.... oh well i quit cross country this year anyway. And once your real practices start and you run with other people it will make you run faster and you won't even really realize it. I always ran faster at meets than I did at practice.

fatefellshort's picture

Yeah. I think good form

Yeah. I think good form helps you go faster. But I know a couple girls who's arms/feet are all over the place and they still finish in the top.. whatever haha. I'm sure mine sucks but I can't watch myself =P
Thanks for the motivation <3