Too Much Gay to Handle

Disney's picture

I haven't written on here in AGES, so sue me!

Alright, current dilemma before future or previous updates on my life get to occurring:

I just found out that I'll have a nice-looking, presumably intelligent gay male from the States rooming down the hall from me when I move into residence before September 1st for the start of my fun university career.

WTF do I do? Ok, much more positive than negative, clearly, but over the last month (or months, I didn't check exactly how long it's been since I last wrote here), I've definitely maintained the ever lovey-dovey dream of having a boyfriend.

Oh, and within the last while I've had some nice dodgey experience with male sexual behaviour... ala clubbing and kissing and more and then sloppy BJs and my being nervous but content but never finishing any deeds with anyone and inside knowing I don't want that, I want a RELATIONSHIP (with someone who will do that stuff with me maybe, but someone I can cuddle with predominantly more than anything at this point).

Well I guess that's an update right there, but anyway, wondering how to approach this when I move in. I'm guessing he'll be there during my move-in, and we'll be going through frosh together at least at some point, but I'm still closeted, and even though that'd be easy enough to NOT be at my university, I'm still ehhhhh over the whole thing. This guy seems like fun options for:
-gay buddy/friend to talk to/club with/become best friends with
-eternally crushing on
-aiming to be boyfriends with

Sure things always start off similarly, but ahhhh wouldn't it be weird as hell to have a virtual roomate being a boyfriend?! And even if it wouldn't be as a boyfriend, I'm nervous about this whole thing since he IS out and I'm NOT and I'm wondering how the fuck to approach everything and not seem like a closet case (haha) and/or too inexperienced.

Sooo excited, but also nervous and we have 6+ months to live together, so actually relationship seems even more odd now, but still I'm trying to figure out what the hell to do and think. And we're already friends on Facebook. Hah.


yesac's picture

I understand how you feel

I understand how you feel about wanting a relationship. Sometimes having fun just doesn't cut it.