AGH. i forgot to write "you're like perfect for eachother"
there are much worse things than smoking that you could be dealing with.
Get over your puritanism, I'd say. But then, if it really is impossible for you to tolerate then you only have one option don't you?
Does he know you can't stand smoking? Because that at least would be a starting point.
My parents have been married 20+ years. My dad quit smoking in his early 20s after his dad died of lung cancery emphysema (a lovely combination). He is very much against smoking. My mother still smokes. It's not the worst problem a relationship can face.
I think I'm allergic to smoke. So yeah... It's not that I'm incredibly upset by the smoking habit itself, as much as I can't stand to be around it or I start feeling really ill. o_o; Like, nauseous and dizzy and eww. I dunno if everyone gets like that or what, but I can't stand it.
But if he expressed that he was seriously willing to try to quit. Then I'd probably try to stick around.
That's just how I'd do things though.
i smoke. and if someone dumped me over, i'd find that extremely shallow.
It usually enters the picture way before that. If I see someone smoke, I just lose interest. I've followed a guy at a club, in the hope of saying hi at the bar, etc., and instead he turns onto the patio to light up, so I just say, 'Oh well...' and move on.
So I'd never dump them over it, it would happen much, much earlier than that. You'd never even know I was interested more often than not.
"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment." - Rumi
Add me on Facebook and MySpace.
I am like, allergic to cigarette smoke, so smoking is a turn off for me, too.
Honesty is like, the foundation of a good relationship, right? So tell him how you feel and everything. Is he willing to quit? Does he care about how you feel about it?
But I wouldn't leave him just for smoking.
Ok. Everyone's gotta give something in a relationship. If the guy's perfect, put up with his smoking. And, perhaps, he'll be nice and put up with your blanket coveting, or other atrocious habits. (I have a lot of friends that smoke, so I'm more than used to having a cloud hang over my head)
" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens