Before it storms I get a bad headache

music is life's picture

I stayed the night at Sara's last night. We went to the football game for like the last quarter and then went back to her house. Then today we went to the mall. I drove illegally. I've only had my license a little over a month and I can't have any passengers for 90 days. My dad doesn't know, he'd kill me if he found out I drove her. Not to mention the fact that I spent the money he gave me for the football game and food on shoes. :)
So ya we went to the mall. And we as we were walking we kept like running into eachother and brushing hands, everytime it happened I would like veer the other direction and we kept managing to get closer and do it again. And when it happened one time Sara was like "Are you trying to hold my hand or something?" I told her if I wanted to hold her hand I would've done it years ago. *Flashback: we did hold hands at a football game one time because our friends were holding hands and she was like ohh thats cute! Hold my hand! and she grabed mine and held it for like 2 minutes. And I was out to her then.*
So ya I feel like now that I came out to her and she pretty much came out to me as bi that she might like me now. And I don't like her like that. I just want to be friends and I don't want to end our friendship. I don't actually think that she would ever act on anything though (like make a move) I don't know what I would do. And I dont' want to to talk to her because I might be wrong and it'd be awkward afterwards. Blah.
This is confusing and I'm trying not to think about it too much. ha ya right.

I bought a pair of flats today. I haven't worn them yet. They're cute though. They have black and dark gray stripes with a little button on them. Idk I'm not good at describing stuff but they look like normal flats with those colors. I like em.

So I guess my dad was full custody of me now. My mom called me last night and said she got papers in the mail signing custody over to my dad. And she was like are you sure this is what you want? I was like I guess so, I mean I've almost lived here for a year in October. I hate making serious decisions, yet I don't want others to make them for me really. My mom said my dad's asking for child support, but she can pick how much she wants to pay (that shocked me). But my mom was like I don't want you to think that I never provided for you so I'm going to pay it. Why does she think that money would compensate for her being in Missouri and I'm here?! Wtf. I'd rather her be here and not have to send money. Its her decision though to be controlled by her fucking master so fuck that. Ugh. I would rather have both of my parents live near me than never go shopping or buy another pair of shoes again. When it comes down to it money or my clothes aren't that important to me, but I feel like I've made them important because no one else is there and thats what I've seen all my life.