How to fix a broken heart?

clarice123's picture

I am lonely.

The type of lonely where even when I'm in a crowded room I feel completely alone. I miss her. So much that it's unbearable. I was doing fine until school started again and I have to see her everyday again. Tiptoe around her.

I used to look forward to school, it meant another occasion, another form of spending time with her. Now it feels like a trap. Some cruel trick. Why do I have to see someone every day who I know I can't have? Why doesn't she want me? How is it that we were only ever just friends? Am I really that blind, that crazy?

We used to fill each other up. When I was with her, I felt so much love. We were so lit up, so charged around each other that other people started to notice. Started to whisper. Why were we always touching, always holding hands? When we went out why did we dance together, like we should have been dancing with boys?

I guess I've sheilded her from the accusations of our friends for now, but sooner or later she's going to have to face them.

It's just so horrible. Not only did I lose my almost lover, but also my best friend. I'm trying so hard to fill the holes you left, Steffi. I'm trying so hard to patch myself up. I can't think of anything but you all the time.

Comments

Neutrina's picture

*hugs* It will get better -

*hugs*

It will get better - trust me, I've been there.
You lean on your other friends, and you learn to be without her. Distract yourself, for small periods of time. The periods of time get longer.

Hang in there.

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

Adam A's picture

meow

*i heart you!*
cheer up charley!!!! takes time but u'll get there...plus you never know what might happen after school!!!!! seriously, some freaky shit always happens!

wild-blue-yonder's picture

a broken heart...

first thing that came to my mind:
a broken heart... that's like the one and only thing duct tape won't fix.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Maybe later you'll be able to be friends without the pain? Time does heal things. In the meantime, just remember it will get better. Maybe write some poetry. Heartbreak is conducive to good poetry...