if only he knew...

808Chik's picture

...how much i love him&that it hurts.

the he is...my father.

so the whole issue that has started this very hostile love/hate relationsip between me and my father is the whole military thing& money. he wanted me to join the military, just like him, but when i did...i wanted out and he made sure after awhile that, that wasn't going to happen until...i ran away, which i understand was a big blow to him and i apologized but at that time thats what i thought would be the best thing.
i never went home...i turned 18 and stayed far from home until i needed stuff and then i went over but he had no "leash" on me 'cause i was of age.

the money issue...so when my mother passed away, she had social security, which was sent to all her kids, about $200-500 (not sure 'cause my dad never told me) every month until they turned 18. & since i turned 18 in Sept....i never received any of the money that is rightfully mine. i'm not greedy or money hungry, it's just that even with my job and saving...i got no money to pay for school and the necessities for school and it sucks. i've asked my father to transfer the money to my account since thats the only way i can get it, but he has been hostile and mean about it.
he has said that so-called "friends" of mine have told him that i've been saying shit about him and he brings up me treating him bad, which i would never do...i know that i have been a disobiediant child at one point but i would never disrespect my father to other people...NEVER.
so he puts me through guilt trips and says that he never has time and that he's always busy, but HONESTLY...what is a couple of hours or just even an hour to go to the bank and transfer? & for me, his daughter.

idk what to do. this frustrates me soooo much and i hate it.

i love my father so much, but it doesn't even seem like he cares anymore.

Comments

jeff's picture

Err...

The Social Security was to help him as a single parent pay for your food, rent, bills, and such, it's not necessarily a trust fund. So that money may not even exist anymore, unless he didn't really need it.

---
"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment." - Rumi

Add me on Facebook and MySpace.

Icarus's picture

Jeff said what i was going

Jeff said what i was going to say. that money isn't put into a savings fund or anything, it's sent to your father every month to assist him as a single parent.

"She's Trouble with a capital T, that rhymes with P, that stands for Pussy."

808Chik's picture

Well I guess it wasn't

Well I guess it wasn't social security then cause I was told that money was meant to be put aside until I turn of age.
"i am who i am, so don't judge me for being myself"