...how much i love him&that it hurts.
the he is...my father.
so the whole issue that has started this very hostile love/hate relationsip between me and my father is the whole military thing& money. he wanted me to join the military, just like him, but when i did...i wanted out and he made sure after awhile that, that wasn't going to happen until...i ran away, which i understand was a big blow to him and i apologized but at that time thats what i thought would be the best thing.
i never went home...i turned 18 and stayed far from home until i needed stuff and then i went over but he had no "leash" on me 'cause i was of age.
the money issue...so when my mother passed away, she had social security, which was sent to all her kids, about $200-500 (not sure 'cause my dad never told me) every month until they turned 18. & since i turned 18 in Sept....i never received any of the money that is rightfully mine. i'm not greedy or money hungry, it's just that even with my job and saving...i got no money to pay for school and the necessities for school and it sucks. i've asked my father to transfer the money to my account since thats the only way i can get it, but he has been hostile and mean about it.
he has said that so-called "friends" of mine have told him that i've been saying shit about him and he brings up me treating him bad, which i would never do...i know that i have been a disobiediant child at one point but i would never disrespect my father to other people...NEVER.
so he puts me through guilt trips and says that he never has time and that he's always busy, but HONESTLY...what is a couple of hours or just even an hour to go to the bank and transfer? & for me, his daughter.
idk what to do. this frustrates me soooo much and i hate it.
i love my father so much, but it doesn't even seem like he cares anymore.