Ugh. I hate people. Seriously, all of you just need to die. Except Wolf...she can stick around. But really, everyone needs to go away and leave me the hell alone. Well...maybe all you on Oasis can stick around, cause you're cool.
So...I'm going kind of stir crazy. I can't find a job, cause nobody wants to hire a punk dyke when they can get a whole crop of fancy college students who can't add 2 and 2 to get 4...sorry. I live in a college town that is the epitome of suburbia. I have nothing against college kids in general, just when I have to live near them.
I really, really can't wait until next summer, when I can work for CDF (CA department of forestry and fire...they fight forest fires and do emergency work). Or National Parks. Or BLM. Or the National Forest Service. I fucking HATE being in civilization. I hate, hate, hate being surrounded by so many people. It's just not for me. (I know, I'm being sooooo negative right now...whatever!). I want to be out in the mountains, or by the ocean, or in the desert, or...anywhere where there're no people. And I know that the stuff I listed above won't get me out of that completely, but it'll help.
I was supposed to go camping this weekend. I was really looking forward to the chance to get out of the house and away from my rents (they're the best, but they still piss me off sometimes). BUT I'm not allowed to go alone, and they won't let me take one of their cars for, OMG TWO WHOLE DAYS!!! (it's not like they ever use more than one at a time on the weekend) So, I asked R (my ex/best friend...but that's a whole nother HUGE story to be told later) if she wanted to go camping, and she was like YEAH, so we planned the whole thing.
The only catch was that she had to get her car back from her mom first (she's 18, and should have it, but her mom's the biggest bitch in the world, so you see the problem). She didn't think she'd get it in time, so we cancelled the trip. Which was okay, cause it wasn't her fault, but it was still a bummer.
Only, she got her car yesterday. We could still go. But she doesn't want to. AAAAARRRRRGGGGG!!!!!!!!! I have got to get out of here!!!
And my therepist suggested that I just go for a day of hiking, which was a really good idea, and my folks are gonna let me, but it's not the same. I want to be sleeping out under the stars. I want to cook on a campstove, and sit around a fire at night and sing.
So now I'm pissed at R, only she doesn't know, cause she's been in a pissy mood and isnt' talking to me. Which is probably a good thing, but still.
Thank god(dess) for Wolf. She's the bestest best friend ever. She's the only thing that's gotten me through the last couple of weeks.
Okay...so, that's my little update for now. I'm sure I'll write more later.