fatefellshort's picture

"INFPs tend toward depression and it's not really a big mystery as to why.

It's about making choices and decisions. I think that's why INFPs who are extreme Ps are more depressed more often than INFPs who border J.

The first reason is that I don't think INFPs can define "happy" in measurable terms. Happiness is some vague ideal like Truth. It's the P part of us, that keeps changing our definitions of happy. You can't achieve a goal you can't define. However, I do feel that most INFPs grow out of that phase as they get older because we realize we're running out of time. Unfortunately, those goals tend to be unrealistic which starts effecting self-worth.

That's the 2nd reason for depression: self-worth issues. How does a person know his own worth? It's very simple.

Your worth is measured by how well and how often your actions match your values and your view of yourself.

INFPs spend so much time analyzing themselves that for the most part they know who they are as a person. Unfortunately, the doing is the hard part. Behavior doesn't match self-image. Some of it has to do with making choices which INFPs are loathe to do. Some of it has to do with society. Not everyone can be a famous novelist even though you might see yourself as one. Society is not a meritocracy.

I think INFPs have more of a need to feel special than any other personality type. We see ourselves as special and our behavior--9-5 McJob, worrying about the bills--doesn't really match or view of ourselves. So to compesate, we master obscure hobbies, read Baudrillard or travel to exotic locations because we need to be part of the select few.

Even more insidious, is that we create these convoluted belief systems to explain to ourselves why our place in the world is the way it is. However, reality is the House and the House always wins given the law of averages.

Life ends up being average in the long run because the big highs and the low lows take too much energy. So we end up with this lingering depression, like cough you can't shake even though you've gotten over your cold.

I wholeheartly believe that life has meaning and LOTS of it. I also believe that the ASSUMPTION that the life has meaning is a mistake.

Whether life has meaning is a belief. It's also a belief that only works if you consciously make a decision to believe it. Because the next step after belief is acting upon that belief.

All those random things that may be unjust, unfair...blah blah blah. Events in themselves have no meaning. It's the interpretation of events that bring meaning. If you've chosen to belief that life has meaning than the action is to interpret those events to give meaning to you. Otherwise, everything is random and you're screwed.

Look at it this way, any belief system has to be supported by the environment. I had a friend who's no longer a vegitarian because he climbed Kiliminjaro. He didn't have a life changing experience at the top. But in that part of Africa, he had a choice between chicken or starving. His environment did not support his belief in vegitarianism.

When you beliefs don't match your enviroment you have 1 of 3 choices:

1. Change your belief.
2. Change your environment; or
3. Suffer!

Unfortunately, beliefs about meaning relate to the enviroment known as "Life". You can't change your enviroment without dying so you have to change beliefs and act on those beliefs or suffer.

I think the number one belief about life and meaning that INFPs have that causes grief is this: INFPs think that they have to find meaning in their lives.

Meaning isn't something you find, it's something you choose.

Or so I've chosen to believe. I can't say I've ever regretted making that choice. "

this personality test describes me so much sometimes, it freaks me out.


5thstory's picture

That personality test is so

That personality test is so damn accurate it's scary (I'm an INTJ).
Isn't it one of the best personality tests ever? I mean, it's just insane how accurate it actually is.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

fatefellshort's picture

i knoww. its so weird

i knoww. its so weird everything is so truee. its all these things i already sort-of knew about myself but never would have been able to put into words.