Frustration

clarice123's picture

There's this girl. Her name is Emily. And she is my new archrival. She has somehow, some way, gotten to every girl before me.

And by every, I mean my last two little crushes. Annoyance. I will over take her, I will. I can handle a competition. ;)

And Steffi, my "straight" ex-best friend/ kind of lover, and I are set to 'talk' on Friday. Or at least be in a position where the circumstances are set so that we should be able to. Which will be good, because I have a lot to confront her about.

Then there's boys. My ex-boyfriend (who I broke up with over a year ago) asked if I 'wanted to do like old times' this past Friday while we were in his car. EW.
My literal response: 'UhhhhhhhhhhhhhhNoooooooo??'
And then there's my science buddy who i'm kind of sort of falling in love with. in the 'hold me by the fire' kind of way. he's really sweet and nice and tall and smart and funny and cute and has GORGEOUS eyes. Really. Then there's my rebound boy-toy who is sexy as fuck and who turns me on every time he says my name (rebound as in: Clarice: STEFFI WHY DON'T YOU LOOOOVVVVEEE MEEEE???? Steffi: You're confused, you've never had an emotional connection with someone before. You're my best friend. Clarice: But I'm in love with youuuuu. Needless to say, there was alcohol involved, and I kind of jumped boy-toy in an attempt to make Steffi jealous/mad. It didn't really work.)
And then there's him. Ugh. Do you ever have those things that last forever and seem to never go away? That's him. I'm a little sport to him. I'm his charity good girl that he hooked with his flawless blue eyes and contagious smile. Do you know what it's like to have a smile that perfect turned on you? It's irresistable. He was at that party the night of the Steffi thing too, and I might have said some things to him that he denied, I also might have jumped on him... Anyway, unlike the other people who saw that night, I don't feel like he's undressing me with his eyes, I feel like he's telling me some secret. I wonder if anything will ever happen with him.

But back to Friday, I'm beyond stressed about it. I have no party to look forward to, no person completely willing to make out with me for half an hour than never see me again.
This is so stupid. I wish that things were like they used to be, and that I could just call her up and we could meet at the corner and talk.