Man, I so can't wait to be in that moment. That moment right before the kiss. That first kiss with a girl I really like. Gosh, it's nights like these when I watch the relationships(I can't wait to have) on TV and movies. I watch them thinking about how I wish I was in that moment right before the kiss. About how it would feel, how it would be scary, nervous, amazing. Those flirty/weird/crazy feelings would be swiriling around in my stomach. It's so hard to continually watch these things happening to other people but I always remind myself that it's worth the wait. That when it finally happens it will be the first time and I will remember it for the rest of my life.
It's odd that on these nights I'm so at peace with myself. I love that I'm the only one awake in my home. That I'm sitting here at my computer(at the moment enjoying South Of Nowhere episodes:D) and everyone is completly oblivious to the things that I'm doing. To the fact that when I (finally) go to sleep, I'm dreaming about girls. I'm dreaming about holding my girlfriends hand as we walk, looking into her eyes knowing everything is finally right, kissing her softly or passionatly and feeling those amazing and intoxiacating feelings that I live for. Everyone I know is so oblivious or atleast they seem to be.
Maybe, now that I'm signed up for this workshop I'll be able to start out the rest of my life, finally. I've been at a stand still for so long. Things are finally starting to really change. Now, I might finally be able to get out there and be myself. God forbid that happens. Naw, it'll be alright....I think. Well, I'm pretty sure. I hope that girl is out there and she's ready for me:)
You fill me up,
you're in my veins
a look could take my breath away
and all these things, you give away
sometimes i take for granted
It's just like poetry inside
to hear you breathing by my side
like I'm in heaven and i've died
so glad you're with me for this ride
Fill Me Up- Staind