hellonwheels's picture

i have this friend. he recently came everyone's great surprise, as he was seemingly 100% hetero to other people in our small, redneck hometown community. btu recently, we, along w/ a huge group of friends agreed to go and se milk....which, btw, is an awesome movie- go see it!

but anyway, he and i have been chatting off and on the last few weeks, more so than normal (since his coming out), which is partially due to the fact that in high school, he put bi on his myspace profile to test teh waters and see how ppl reacted.

anyway, upon hangin out w/ him at milk that one night, i learned that he, in fact, is GAY! huge surprise. but anyway, ever since that night, he started asking me about seattle, the big city, and how well it responds to gays. well. since movign here, i have had several lesbian co-workers, a few gay friends, and known a lot of people who are either, gl or b. and i guess hangin aroun those peeps long enough has brought me closer to terms w/ reality...but still not close enough to accept myself.

on the plus side of that, i am hanging out w/ hyacinthus more...we live only a few miles away now. and he has been pushing me to come out to said friend. and i'm not sure if i should. I htink i kinda did already in discussing my opinions and telling him of lookin to the future's experiences w/ the pride foundation scholarships, but i haven't officially outed myself to him yet.

so the question is, do you guys think i should do it? i think he can empathise w/ all the issues associated w/ it, since his family, aside from his mom, who already knows about him, are the kind of people who wouldn't be down w/ it, so maybe he wouldn't tell a lot of people.

but then again, half of the people he still hangs with in school know who I am, or at least know people that know me, so there is risk in that too.

what do you guys think?


Lehcure's picture


go for it. :)
and if you don't want to, then don't.
whatever makes you feel better.

jeff's picture


I don't think there is much risk in telling someone gay that you're gay. He should respect the pace at which you are accepting yourself and coming out. The only issue is if you then think you can control him, or want him to be "closeted" in certain situations, in front of certain people, etc. But as long as he's as gay as he wants to be, but knows you're not ready for the world to know, shouldn't be a problem.

Just don't screw him over, cuz he will have ammo against you. :-)

So, not interested in any other active verbs with him beyond "telling"?

"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment." - Rumi

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Maas's picture

you could 'splain to him

you could 'splain to him that you need to take your time coming out and that you're telling him because you trust him. I couldn't see how he'd tell anyone if you told him that.