Getting really sick of everything at home now. At like 6pm today some woman that lives next door came over and complained about our dogs barking to much....So, that started a lovely fight between my parents. Fucking woman why doesn't she go and piss on someone else's life. It's not like my parents are lacking in things to fight about these days...or ever. So, once my dad goes to bed things are fine and me and my mom watch some TV(Nights are SO much better cause there's no fighting or hyperness/overreacting) then he comes downstairs at 10pm(Usual time that my mom goes to bed and I go to my room and on my computer) And the minute he starts bullshit. It's all about how he can't sleep because of life...Blah, blah...Then he gets on about how she(my mom) drives him crazy she doesn't understand and this other crap...Blah fucking blah. I go upstairs to my room when he starts to quiet down and calm down.
THEN, I go back downstairs after my mom has gone to their room to get my books that I left down there and he starts on me about what am I gonna do after I'm done this class...I say "I don't know, I'll probably take the other one that's sorta like it" Then he starts saying all this crap "Don't you want to go to university?" No dad I'm too fucking stupid! Don't you get it I hate school, I'm insecure, and at this very moment I hate my fucking life. I'm so sick of all the bullshit and on top of everything I'm suppressing everything and I have no one to talk to about it. I can't be honest with anyone. And I have no friends.
I didn't say any of those things out loud just in my head. Instead I said I don't know....Then he's talking loudly telling me I should go to college/university. That if I don't I'll miss out on a great experience. He knows what he's talking about. That I'm stupid if I don't take this opportunity. And he's trying to help but his methods are wrong....I'm crying cause whatever fucking reason.....So, I had to stay down there until I could control my crying and wipe my face so he wouldn't know that I was...cause he'd think I was crying just because of our talk but there's obviously so much more going on with me that he doesn't know about. And I don't want to talk to him about it. I'm sick of this.