She makes me sick

music is life's picture

My Mom's here and is leaving tomorrow. Thankfully. I feel bad in a way about feeling that way, but then I don't because my Mom is one crazy bitch and has fucked up a portion of my life that I won't be able to get back. But if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be as strong as I am now and that is good and bad. I live with my Dad and when my Mom comes to visit I just like get really down. I've had a massive headache the past couple of days. I'm really tense around her. My Mom's Master (aka husband) carries a gun. Ya. Not cool. And he brought it to the FAMILY x-mas. There were little kids running around and everything. I honestly was afraid that he was going to pull it out and just start shooting everyone. And I don't even think its legal to carry a concealed weapon in this state, maybe in the South but not here. I hope they get in a wreck on the way home tomorrow and he dies. Atleast my Mom will get his Life Insurance then and won't be as miserable. The world would be a better place without this man in it. You know how people are all like "I don't hate. I dislike." Well fuck that shit. I hate him with a passion.

My Mom likes to play these mind games with me. She got me this calender with Lab dogs on it. She did it to try and make me feel like shit for moving to my dads because when I lived there we had Labs. And then she brought me this article from a newspaper about some of my friends on the basketball team from my old school. I knew exactly what she was doing and I called her out on it and she acted as if she didn't know what I was talking about.

My Dad went through my room today while I was at the x-mas party. You really wanna know what I fucking hate? Invasion of privacy. Don't go through my fucking shit. Its gotten to the point that I remember where everything is so I can tell when someone's been in my room. And thats how I know how he went through it. My Mom gave me a x-mas card with $200 (my present from her) and it was tucked behind some other cards on my desk shelf and when I get home today the cards are laying flat out on my desk totally off the shelf. Ugh.
I really don't like my parents right now. I wanna go over to Sarah's but I feel bad for going over there because all I will do is cry and rant about it. So instead I'm on here writing. I wish I had a choice on whether or not I wanted my life to be fucked up.


starsxfallxup's picture

dude, that calendar thing is

dude, that calendar thing is so messed up =\
and I know what you mean about knowing exactly how everything is in your room, I'm the same way. If anything is even slightly moved I notice

Dyke of Awesomeness's picture

Fuck that shit

I thought I was the only one who said that. Anyway, I'm sorry stuff sucks for you right now. Parents suck. And steps/bf/gfs suck even worse. But before to long hopefully you'll be able to leave home, and then you can choose to have as much or as little contact with parents/steps/bf/gfs. Hang in there and know there are plenty of others going through similar things.

"Dawn must DIE!!"
Fallon, after watching 'Once More With Feeling' of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

edgified's picture

Actually Dyke of

Actually Dyke of Awesomeness... I saw fuck that shit too. xDD And you know what? That's totally wrong of your mother to try and make you feel guilty. Or of your dad to invade your privacy. I hope you feel better. I think talking to your friend would help and she would understand talking and ranting even bitching because family isn't always the most fun to deal with. So maybe give it a try? I don't know. xD <3

Maas's picture

I'm pretty sure my parents

I'm pretty sure my parents found my porn once when they were putting my clothes away. They weren't searching through my room either. I think I left it in clear sight on my bed (My bad! lolz)... and well, they'd rather not see gay porn anymore (or porn in general), so they're afraid to search through it.

And yes, my parents do my laundry and fold it and put it away. They also vacuum my room. They also make me breakfast, lunch, dinner and a snack if I want it. It's mostly my mom that does that stuff though. She's a substitute teacher, so on her free days she goes into homemaker mode big time.

But that's really crumby how your Dad searched through your room. I personally love to read cards, even other people's cards, so I can kind of relate. But if you do that shit you've gotta be thorough and put things away exactly. It's just fucking disrespectful if you leave something in a state of disarray.

Does he read your mail or open packages mailed to you? That would fucking set me off. I don't want my parents to look at my Visa statement. I don't look at theirs, so they shouldn't look at mine. And I'd rather not have my parents know if I ordered underwear online, because well, there could be a thong in an order, and I'm pretty sure they'd rather not know.

Hope you feel better sooooon!