should i?

hellonwheels's picture

So, after coming out to chris last week, which was totally a relief, although it has created some stress over teh last week, i feel good about that decision. he has, however, re-interested me in applying for scholarship applications for pride. i feel liek i may have a chance at it, and i also want to put in the diversity section of my UW app that i am gay, and in fact, being a homosexual has changed my views on prejudices that i have had in the past, judging others before I really knwo them, and that sort of thing.

I JUST don't know about it yet though. the deadline for my UW app is in a week, and i haven't even started on the essayt section. some people have given me advice on what i should write it on, but i feel that living on my own for the past two years and payign my own bills, and volunteering @ local parks etc won't be the best topics. i dunno.

The thing is, I really do need the money. my mom will be leaving the country soon to teach overseas, and that will leave me on my own for college. problem is, due to my mom's portion of my grandfathers estate, she will also have to file for like 200 grand this year as her gross income, which is nothing like the 4o k a year she normally makes as a teacher. hopefully that will not affect my scholarship apps or my ability to get into the UW on FAFSA. we shall see.
The one positive thing on PRIDE app is that my psychiatrist used to be on the approval board and could probably put in a good word for me. i don't know yet though. i really do want to tell my mom this year as it was my new years resolution, but i feel it is always such an awkward topic.

I DO think that mentioning my sexual orientation WILL affect my application as a student to the UW in a positive way, but I also feel it will hugely affect my life in the next year, and over the years to come.

what do you guys think i should do? I also wanted to write about PTSD and overcoming my depression as an issue i have overcome, but instead, my mom suggested that i need to write about overcoming my struggle w/ diabetes or something like that.

gaahhh, soo much shit to think about. why do they have to make gettign an education so damn hard?!?!?!? lol.

thanks for reading and any advice is appreciated.


Lehcure's picture

I vote that you should do

I vote that you should do whatever you need to do for the better. so why not fill out a scholarship app for pride? you need it, and it's a resource you have..USE YOUR RESOURCES, haha, but really it's a good opportunity and you should utilize it since you have the chance to

hellonwheels's picture


thanks lehcure, i think youare right, but it is a matter of coming out or not, so i dunno yet. lol. i guess i have to decide. and the fact that my doc is on the board that gives out the scholarships might helpo too, since he already knows me and all the shit i have overcome in my life. lol.

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

patnelsonchilds's picture

I think once you've opened

I think once you've opened the closet door, you might as well jump all the way through it and sing. I was in the closet all through high school (even to myself), but once I got to college at 17 and met my first openly gay person, there was no holding me back. I just couldn't imagine hiding who I was from anyone after that. My take is that once you are independent, and no one can capture you and put you in Jesus camp or some other godawful place ( no pun intended), then the benefits of being all-out far outweigh the drawbacks. In your particular case, I think this is especially true. Hey, if being gay can give you an edge as far as financial aid goes, then use it. Unfortunately, the world has not yet reached a state where that is often the case, though I'm happy to note that over the 26 years I've been openly gay, much of the civilized world has come to realize that we are not the spawn of Satan (though I'm not entirely sure about you). ;)

As far as your essay, why not do a general theme of overcoming adversity and chuck the whole lot in? It's really hard to overdo it on these things. After all, you're trying to encapsulate your life in a few paragraphs, and admissions people know this. I think they would be interested in hearing about all the challenges you have faced, and I think the fact that you had to deal with being gay on top of it all will just be another strong point for you. I worked in the admissions office of the first college I went to as a student interviewer, so I know a little bit about the kinds of things that sell.

Good luck, hon. For what it's worth, I think you're pretty impressive.


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