So I'm Really Screwed

starsxfallxup's picture

1: Today was the beginning of a new semester. On the first day of the second semester the schedule changes; you go to your semester two classes in the morning for like half an hour each to get an intro and then you go to your semester one classes in the afternoon for about half an hour each to find out what you got on exams. The morning could NOT have gone better. I was in the best mood I have been in for two months. I have Anthropology/Psychology/ Sociology first, Chem second, English third and MUSIC WITH PIANO :D fourth. My Anthro teacher was scary, my Chem teacher was monotone, my English teacher is awesome and then, of course, there is Piano. Music was the highlight of my WHOLE DAY. My friend was making fun of me the entire class and being like "Oh she's your lover!" and whatnot. It was hilarious. The class is an eleven/twelve split class and one of the guys in grade twelve said 'no homo' for whatever reason and Piano was like "Ok, you really need to stop that because you don't know who you're offending!" And my friend, G, looked at me and we both BURST OUT LAUGHING. Because of my gayness. And G said, "I wonder if she knows!" and I said, "NOOOO WAY... but wait.. did she look at me when she said that.." and G was like "No.... who knows man." Then Piano asked everyone what they wanted to play. And then she asked what everyone's "Secondary instruments" were. Like, second choices incase you don't get the one you want and she is also planning on putting together some kind of jazz ensemble as well and everyone has to pick something else for that. But when she "asked" what everyone wanted, what really happened was she looked at the person and said "What do you want to play...hmm you look like a (insert instrument here) player to me." My friend is getting stuck with trombone as her "secondary instrument". Piano remembered that I play sax and trumpet so she put me on that :). This was the good part of today.

2: The bad part of today was the afternoon. When I saw my exam marks. Basically I failed three courses. Out of four. Not just the exams, but the whole course. Three. Failed. So now I'm really screwed. Why did I manage to fail three courses? Because even though I have such huge goals, I have no motivation. I just can't do it. I don't have the energy and I end up not caring but at the same time I do care. So much. It's so contradictory and confusing and hard to explain but it's like, I just can't sometimes. Sometimes I barely have the energy to get out of bed. I don't understand me.


fleetfootedfox's picture


Things will get better :)
Hahaha also when I was reading this I forgot that you use Piano as a pseudonym for someone and it totally threw me off because it said "music with Piano." Lol
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss

starsxfallxup's picture

haha yeah it's kinda funny.

haha yeah it's kinda funny. but it's the best pseudonym for her.

Lehcure's picture

hmm. first of all that's

hmm. first of all that's totally awesome about your class with Piano. :P have fun with that haha.
annd for number 2, failing of any kind is really sucky, but The good thing about failing is that you can't do any worse..and only better. so hopefully it'll get better. if you're all outta energy maybe try taking some kind of daily vitamin? or if you don't eat breakfast and/or lunch, you should. anyways, that old phrase people use is pretty true..because you can do it if you reallyreally want to. :)

starsxfallxup's picture

hah thanks i will have loads

hah thanks i will have loads of fun with that :P
and yeah that's true.. it can't get any worse at this point.
As for the energy i eat breakfast and lunch everyday but i dont take any vitamins.. that's a good idea