It's overcast, I'm home by myself, listening to The Cure, with no plans for today or the rest of the week, really. I'm more than a little depressed. My best friend was supposed to join me one night for some weed but he decided to be a bitch and punk out.
I'm really upset with him over a few things, actually. I love him to pieces, but he has no consideration for my feelings... like, he's a practical person, but all his solutions to my problems fall into the "easier said than done" category.
Me: Yeah, I still haven't gotten laid in ages.
Him: Move to Brisbane!
Me: I think you need more than $500 to do that, and that's all I got.
Him: Get another job then!
Me: *Blank stare*
I have 3 jobs already. I just earn diddly.
Back to him though. He doesn't understand my love life problems because he's been with his boyfriend for a year and a half, and has truly left the Single Club. So whenever I talk about those topics, he has no idea what I'm whinging about. I think because we're so different that there's no mutual understanding...
Like, he came out to his family when he was 17. After that he slutted around for a year (he's been with 32 guys between then and now) and then he met his current boyfriend whilst in a threesome with his former boyfriend. When we first met this year, what I identified about him is that he had everything I wanted. However, now I've realised that what he has isn't everything HE wants, so it's a case of "the grass is also greener", etc.
I hate that someone I care about so much can just piss me right off. Talking to him lately just makes me feel 10 times worse, but if I don't speak to him for ages, I start to miss him and it makes me feel worse than when I DO talk to him. Last night he said, "Whenever I talk to you lately you're depressed. Lighten up." I told him that he's wrong, I always have been depressed and that I just don't bother to hide it now. His general attitude is "Get over it. Just do it." Which irritates me when it comes to issues bigger than being torn over what to get at lunch. Such as coming out to my mum. Still a bit of an issue, but will be happening very soon. When I first made my decision that yes, I was finally going to do it, timing was absolutely crap. I was in a show so I was barely home, and my grandfather went into hospital and passed away. I didn't think my family needed the Homosexual Bomb dropped on them.
But he just didn't seem to understand - all he saw was me punking out and being a coward. Love him so much, but he shits me to tears! Any advice on how to handle a friend such as this?