Witty title.2

scandalboy's picture

It's overcast, I'm home by myself, listening to The Cure, with no plans for today or the rest of the week, really. I'm more than a little depressed. My best friend was supposed to join me one night for some weed but he decided to be a bitch and punk out.

I'm really upset with him over a few things, actually. I love him to pieces, but he has no consideration for my feelings... like, he's a practical person, but all his solutions to my problems fall into the "easier said than done" category.

Me: Yeah, I still haven't gotten laid in ages.
Him: Move to Brisbane!
Me: I think you need more than $500 to do that, and that's all I got.
Him: Get another job then!
Me: *Blank stare*

I have 3 jobs already. I just earn diddly.

Back to him though. He doesn't understand my love life problems because he's been with his boyfriend for a year and a half, and has truly left the Single Club. So whenever I talk about those topics, he has no idea what I'm whinging about. I think because we're so different that there's no mutual understanding...
Like, he came out to his family when he was 17. After that he slutted around for a year (he's been with 32 guys between then and now) and then he met his current boyfriend whilst in a threesome with his former boyfriend. When we first met this year, what I identified about him is that he had everything I wanted. However, now I've realised that what he has isn't everything HE wants, so it's a case of "the grass is also greener", etc.

I hate that someone I care about so much can just piss me right off. Talking to him lately just makes me feel 10 times worse, but if I don't speak to him for ages, I start to miss him and it makes me feel worse than when I DO talk to him. Last night he said, "Whenever I talk to you lately you're depressed. Lighten up." I told him that he's wrong, I always have been depressed and that I just don't bother to hide it now. His general attitude is "Get over it. Just do it." Which irritates me when it comes to issues bigger than being torn over what to get at lunch. Such as coming out to my mum. Still a bit of an issue, but will be happening very soon. When I first made my decision that yes, I was finally going to do it, timing was absolutely crap. I was in a show so I was barely home, and my grandfather went into hospital and passed away. I didn't think my family needed the Homosexual Bomb dropped on them.

But he just didn't seem to understand - all he saw was me punking out and being a coward. Love him so much, but he shits me to tears! Any advice on how to handle a friend such as this?
Much love.


clarice123's picture

Maybe you could take a break

Maybe you could take a break from him? Hang out with another friend for a little while? That would distract you from missing him, and the new friend might also be able to give you better advice. Good luck!

bulldyke's picture

i know exactly what you

i know exactly what you mean...my best friend pisses me off so much sometimes, i can't stand it. i mean, i love her to death, but she's totally clueless sometimes, and just doesn't get me.

um...advice? get through it. at some point, either you start drifting away, or he gets his head out of his ass and sees that you're hurting, and maybe at least tries to help.

or just sit him down, and ask him to take you seriously for a bit. tell him that his advice isn't helping, and that you need him to LISTEN to you, not just hear what you're saying and say what he's been saying. tell him you're hurting, and tell him that even if he doesn't get it, you want him to be supportive anyway.

good luck with it...it sucks big time when you're on the outs with your best friend. *hug*

"I've never written a love song, that didn't end in tears." ~P!nk