ADAM'S ADVICE

Adam A's picture

FROM ME TO YOU....WITH LOVE.

- what reasoning, thinking, feeling and everyday problem solving can't fix....good sex can

- dancing in your underwear to shitty techno is always recommended

- spelling is the devil

- don't ever wear red if you have pimples

- people with missing teeth, froth, the extremely obese, moroccans, are all crazy

- beauti is not in the eye of the beholder, sexuality is.

- people who don't speak much are respected more, and when they do talk they get listened to

- everybody shit, everybody farts, everybody burbs, everybody's breath smells like shit in the morning, and every gets disgusting zits

- straights and gays mix like water and oil....the oil being the gay people...we float above.

- Oasia is like your mother's warm embrace - the people are are the warmth that eminates from her smile

- Oasia is like a dumping ground - the people are are the bums that pick through it, find the food scraps and eat them

- The truth is always in the middle

- truth is relative to time, place and circumstance

- nobody's life ends up the way they plan, and thank god for that

- regret is useless, as is anxiety

- women are stronger than men and far superior

- things you buy for yourself are worth far more than things you are given

- one shouldn't strive for their life to be long

- arguing with me is futile

- when you find someone incredibly like you, hurt them, quickly

- if we lived on pluto things would be easier and better and funner

- sea creatures are frightening and should be avoided at all cost until they arrive at your plate.

- you best learn to love irony, it's the themesong of life

- lying is not bad...in fact more often than not it's good

- negativity is bad, cynicism is the worst

- sarcasm is the lowest form of wit

- lesbians rock

- macy grey is my vagina hero

- polish people are annoying

- remember where your scars came from, and don't ever forget, and if you don't learn, you don't deserve my oxygen

- every argument can be summed up with the following words: YO MAMMA

- people who talk about the size of their cocks have small cocks...period.

- folding clothes should be done by everyone, it is the most relaxing thing on earth...more than drugs!

- when you talk to someone shift your attention from one of their eyes to the other, it makes them uncomfortable and it entertains you while they bore the fuck out of you

- the grass is always greener coz the grass IS always greener...build a bridge and get the fuck over it

- learn to control your environment and the people in it

- only girls are allowed to be violent and only with men, never eachother...it's not a sexist thing, it's a fact of life.

- the worse they dress, the nerdier they are, the funnier they walk, the better they are at sex

-there's no such thing as "myself"....it's a relative term that adapts to its environment

- there's a reason for everything, the toilet paper roll fell off the bed...the reason being...so it could get to the floor...tada! i never said reason and meaning are related

- dont' take shit, if you have no guts to stand up for yourself you don't deserve to be stood up for, the world is no place for pussies

- never be ashamed to serve only your own purpose, remember in the long run it's only you that you HAVE to live with forever

- you can't love another until you love yourself, don't fool yourself

-nobody will complete you, do it yourself you lazy bastard, it's a lot more admirable to be with someone because you want to, not because you need to.

- intellegence is most definately NOT a positive quality

- people who can't dance (even in their own privacy) can't have sex

- there's nothing particularly shallow about fashion

- don't ever tell a white guy he looks dark, and don't ever tell a dark guy he looks white

- let people tell you what they think they are, if you burst their bubble, your relationship has come to an end

-people responde well to being abused, don't worry about "sinking to their level"...the "taste of own medicine" approach is much more affective and rewarding to oneself.

-the vast majority of us are sheep, and being a sheep is fun

-even if you don't know it, u'r soooooo postmodern

- be careful of u'r childhood...wheather good or bad doesn't matter, it should be left behind

- the only way to tell if somebody loves you or not is through their hands, a loving touch and a lusty/otherwise touch are somewhat different, think it through.

-never listen to bitter people's advice

feel free to add your own...perhaps more positive type advice

Comments

the ghost's picture

I like this list, and agree

I like this list, and agree with most of it. Except I know a few nice polish people =]

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

Adam A's picture

meow

bahahaha....all my friends are polish....no idea why

scandalboy's picture

actually i know a guy who's

actually i know a guy who's polish and he's an asshole.....go figure.

jeff's picture

Umm...

I'm Polish, bitch.

---
"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis

Adam A's picture

meow

i rest my case